A few months ago, I was asked to deliver a keynote speech at the US Sailing Leadership Forum in San Diego.
San Diego in February? It didn’t take much convincing.
It’s worth noting, too, (in this column where we focus on connection) that the original connection came from a friend who used to work at the WeWork location where I’m a member. She helped me start the Health and Happiness storytelling series and now she has her dream job for US Sailing.
Because of what she knew I could do, she convinced the team to bring me on board.
That was a terrible pun, but quite necessary. I digress.
Anyways, I was pumped to get the chance to do what I love for a room full of sailors.
But pretty soon after accepting the gig, I heard that little voice in the back of my head.
You know the one. We’ve talked about it before.
The voice asked me, “How am I going to be able to connect with these people if I don’t even participate in their culture or community?”
We all know that there is this divide — this rivalry, if you will — between the sailing community and motorboat community. Not everyone takes it that seriously, but it’s there. They are generally two different groups of people.
I was on the other side. I come from a powerboat family.
I questioned if they would take me seriously or care what I had to say. But I really questioned my ability to find a common ground with them so we could connect.
Then something dawned on me.
We are in a time where we really like to do this. We love to see and recognize why we are different than other people — where the lines and divisions are.
We love to keep people in their little compartments and categories.
And It’s Us vs Them. Always.
We are either black or white; gay or straight; Repbulican or Democrat; a Millenial or a Boomer.
But the irony is, all people are suffering from it. We are all hurting.
Everybody is upset, because everybody is hurting, because everybody yearns for belonging. It’s a part of being human. It is 100% in our DNA to yearn for connection.
Tens of thousands of years ago, even 100,000 years ago, if we didn’t stick together as humans, we would die.
There was no way we could compete against wooly mammoths and sabretooth tigers and dragons and everything else we faced back then. Unless we worked together in tribes. And even though It started as a survival instinct, we still have a primal need to bond together.
The way we created those bonds was by sharing stories. It’s still the way.
I knew that because that’s what I do for a living. But I still wasn’t immune to the effects that fear, judgement, and insecurity cause on our brains.
So, I calmed down and thought about what story I could tell to reach their hearts.
Stories are all about finding the heart and truth in a subject.
Sailing isn’t just about the sails. It’s something bigger. I still come from a boating world, even if my boats were 16-ft fishing boats. We had to share the same kind of love.
When I realized this, I crafted a personal story about my dad and the boat I grew up on that was about family, love, loss, and the eternal connection to the water.
Those are the things that are at the heart of sailing.
When I was finished with my speech, all 500 of us in that room were connected through laughter, tears, and a passion for being on the water.
One attendee sought me out at the bar later to share his thought (and I forgave him for interrupting me watching the Carolina/Duke game because of how kind it was):
“You may not be a sailor, but you touched the souls of 500 sailors in that room today.”
I now consider that divide a bridge.
(photos by Kurt Kessler)
Rain Bennett is a two-time Emmy-nominated filmmaker, writer, and competitive storyteller with over a decade of experience producing documentary films that focus on health and wellness. His mission is simple: to make the world happier and healthier by sharing stories of change.
You can read the rest of “Right as Rain” here, and check back every Wednesday on Chapelboro for a new column!
