Last Friday morning I was up early working and trying to get as much done as I could before my daughter inevitably started hollering to let the house know she was awake.

Fortunately, my wife usually takes her to daycare, as she knows my mornings are busy, and I typically pick her up in the afternoon.

But this morning, Maya came out of our room fully dressed, almost an hour before I expected to see her.

“Can you take Bellamy this morning? I forgot I have physical therapy.”

I scanned my mental calendar and I didn’t have anything I couldn’t move around, but I was immediately annoyed.

“Babe, why are you dropping this on me now? You know I’m slammed in the mornings and you’re telling me this 30 minutes before I’d have to leave?”

“I know. I can cancel it if you need me to.” she replied.

“Well, no. There’s no need to do that. I’ll just take her.”

I begrudgingly loaded my daughter into my 4Runner, pissed off because of the principle of the situation. What if I did have a meeting? I thought my wife was being incredibly inconsiderate and couldn’t shake my frustration. Her negligence could’ve really created a problem for me.

As I got on the Durham freeway, I did feel a bit of relief momentarily.

It was pouring rain and bumper-to-bumper traffic. My 4Runner has a lot better traction than my wife’s Kia Forte and she also hates to drive in the rain. I was glad it was me tasked with getting our daughter safely to school.

But I was still emotionally stressed from the situation earlier.

That stress, along with the heavy traffic and even heavier rains, had me on high alert. Having my daughter in the car with me only heightened the feeling.

Cars were way too close and driving way too fast. My eyes darted back and forth, looking for any signs of reckless driving. I glanced at my daughter in the rear-view mirror.

As I passed an exit, a new set of cars entered the traffic from the on-ramp.

For some reason, I fixated on the car in the lane to my right, just in front of me.

There was plenty of room left in the merging lane for the new traffic to safely enter the flow, but I just had a feeling something might go wrong.

At that moment the car to my right, probably startled by the new cars to his right, swerved over in front of me, causing me to slam on my brakes, as well as my horn.

It was so abrupt I anticipated a rear-end collision from the car behind me, but it never came.

After 10 seconds, I lifted my hand off the horn.

I glanced back at my daughter. My heart was racing.

The car swerved back into the lane to my right and we all kept driving, though my hands were gripping the wheel tight.

I noticed the car’s brake lights flash red and he was still driving erratically.

“What is wrong with this person?” I thought.

When I saw the brake lights flash again, I realized he was actually slowing down. My adrenaline skyrocketed.

I just knew he was going to do that thing that people do when even though they’re in the wrong, they take an attitude with you. I imagined it: he cut me off, I blew my horn, and then for some reason he flips me the bird?

Now I was armored up and angry.

Then, as I got closer, I saw the window rolling down. He had something to say.

My left hand reached for my window control. I was fully prepared to let this guy know what I thought of him.

As I pulled up beside him, he lifted his hands up in an apologetic gesture and mouthed the words “I’m so sorry.” His eyes were earnest.

My shoulders dropped.

My heart rate followed soon after, and I gave him a nod and a two-finger wave before we both drove off safely to our destinations.

I thought about how nice it would be if we were all more honest, humble, and admitted our faults like this man did. It was so unexpected that this stranger was sincerely apologetic. But it probably saved us both. And it took so little effort.

Immediately it diffused the situation and disarmed me.

And in that moment, I realized that we shouldn’t let ourselves get consumed with proving a point or the principle of something.

Like the situation with my wife earlier, it’s only a problem if it creates a problem.

 

Rain Bennett is a two-time Emmy-nominated filmmaker, writer, and competitive storyteller with over a decade of experience producing documentary films that focus on health and wellness. His mission is simple: to make the world happier and healthier by sharing stories of change.

You can read the rest of “Right as Rain” here, and check back every Wednesday on Chapelboro for a new column! 

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