Hey Carrboro!

Why do you want me to be so fat?

I’m trying to lose some weight here.  With so many good restaurants opening in my downtown neighborhood, this is getting harder all the time.

Rise Biscuits & Donuts just opened two blocks from my house with an amazing display of fabulous treats.  How is that helping?  And that Pizzeria Mercato with that selection so close to my house?  That’s not making it any easier.

Of course, there are all the old standbys.  My good friends at Amante Gourmet Pizza are exactly how I got so fat in the first place.  They really should stop making such fine pizza from such quality ingredients.  Jade Palace with such amazingly good Chinese food has been loading me up for the 24 years I have lived nearby.

Chuck Morton

Carrboro’s Chuck Morton

Weaver Street Market with that buffet line.  I can do some serious diet damage there.  Of course, all of these places offer healthy choices that I seldom choose.  All of that good stuff with all that fat and calories, that’s what I seem to go for every time.

There are so many excellent food trucks nearby, each with wonderful food at attractive prices.  The new Monterrey location at Carrboro Plaza has become somewhat of an addiction for myself and Mrs. Wife.

That Wendy’s, open late with a drive-thru, that’s probably a few pounds on my waist right there.

Carrboro Pizza Oven is always there to temp me with instant slices.  Venable has gourmet selections all just a few blocks away.  Now, CrossTies Barbecue is opening there as well.  I like barbecue so that will likely compound the problem.

Of course, these last three are at Carr Mill Mall.  Which I avoid where possible.  My habitually bare feet are not welcome by mall management.  I’m frequently offended by the rude signs that the Carr Mill management tends to post around the property.

I notice the CrossTies sign is not yet up.  But, their name already appears on a very rude and stupid sign around the property.

This makes me less likely to go there.

Those signs saying “No, no, no, no, no,” are an indication that Carr Mill management does not get Carrboro.

They just do not get me.

As a result, even though they are close and convenient, and offering things I might buy, they don’t get my money.  There are many other good choices that I would rather purchase as they do not insult me with rude and stupid signs in the parking lot.

Now, I wish I hadn’t started talking about this, because it’s making me hungry.  Have you had lunch yet, Ron?


— Chuck Morton