Last week, I took my girlfriend and our daughter on our first family vacation. I set an outgoing message on my email and my texts and I purposely threw my phone is a drawer.
I’d been traveling the week before and was headed back on the road the week after, so I needed a break from the noise. I also wanted to truly be in the moment with my loved ones. Like most people these days, I stay tethered to my phone and can be seen during almost any activity with a downward curve in my neck and a blue light illuminating my face.
It’s a little bit harder for me to separate, because I’m self-employed, so I need my phone to work. And like most self-employed people, I’m constantly in some state of work. However, with just the tap of a button, I can toggle from work to play and it gets hard for me to know where that line is sometimes. It’s even harder for my girlfriend Maya to know.
The drive down to the beach was easy — we just listened to music and talked. Plus, it’s not like I’d be on my phone while I’m driving. I mean, I NEVER do that, right??
Later that evening, we went down to the pool with my daughter “BB” (it was her first time!) and I definitely wanted to bring my phone for pictures. Luckily, I had my Canon DSLR so we could still capture that moment (and have even better pictures).
But the next day I found myself filling any gap in time with a reach for my phone. Fortunately, it was in the drawer.
The World Cup would cut to commercial and I’d find myself searching for it on the table. I had no real reason — I didn’t need to look anything up or text anyone. It had just become a time-filler for me. Which typically goes past the time it’s meant to fill and into the time I’m supposed to be working or hanging out with my family. It was noticeable. And I was glad I’d decided to go off the grid.
I’m not one to wax nostalgic about “the good ole days” before smartphones and when people used physical maps instead of GPS. I’m genuinely excited about the benefits that technology brings us. But… I will say that on this trip I wrote a lot more, read a book and started another, and found myself truly being in the moment of whatever situation I was in at the time.
When my friend Sam came to visit and we were watching the mothers of our children be amazing, I was fully in the conversation — looking him in the eye and actually listening to what he had to say instead of just waiting for my turn to deliver some pithy remark I was so excited about. When my mom came to visit on my birthday and brought me a cake, instead of filming myself blow out the candles, I actually made the wish! I honestly don’t know if I’d ever truly made a wish while blowing out the candles (I can’t tell you what it was or it won’t come true, I’m told).
I’m not necessarily blaming that on my phone, but I just think disconnecting helped me connect with the real moments.
On my way back, Maya asked me what my favorite part of the week was. I immediately knew. It was when I held my daughter in the ocean for the first time. I just sat there in the sand holding her in my lap so the waves could rush in over her legs. I stared at her and she stared right back at me, trying to find her balance. She didn’t cry when the waves came, or even wince from the cool water on her warm skin. It was a peaceful moment between her, me, the earth, the water, and the world. Her mother stood just behind us, soaking the moment in for herself.
How badly we wanted to take a picture of that moment, but neither of us dared disrupt it. It was more important than that. It was beyond what we could capture and post on social media.
And now it’s a picture I can never lose.
Picture via Rain Bennett
Rain Bennett is a two time Emmy-nominated filmmaker, fitness professional, public speaker, and writer. His mission is simple: to help people realize that they too can be great, no matter where they come from or what they start with. It just takes passion, persistence, and a plan.
Bennett directed and produced his first feature length documentary in true indie fashion by traveling the world with only a backpack and a Canon DSLR camera. That film, Raise Up: The World is Our Gym won “Best of the Fest” at the Hip Hop Film Festival NYC and received global distribution through Red Bull Media House. He’s been featured in publications like Men’s Health and Sports Business Global and is a regular contributor to Breaking Muscle. When he’s not making movies or training clients at Sync Studio in Durham, he’s hosting a new webseries called The Perfect Workout Show.
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