I’m going to be real with y’all.
Last week I was on the verge of cracking up. Of burning out. Of breaking down.
If you’re a regular reader of the “Right as Rain” column, you may know that my wife and I recently had a new baby — a beautiful baby boy named Bishop. A beautiful baby boy that has been pretty colicky since Week Two and we are now in Week Six.
Lack of sleep isn’t something new to parents. And I quickly empathized (and sympathized!) with parents of twins, single parents, or any type of parent that is outnumbered by their children or have multiple children that are toddler-age or younger.
Our household is two versus two, and we’re still getting our butts kicked.
There are many differences this time from when we had my daughter (now 3). First, it’s a different child. He simply is more needy and more, let’s call it, “vocal” than she was.
Secondly, there are now two of them. So that means twice the work and double the schedules to coordinate. And even though she is very well behaved and self-sufficient in many ways, if she’s having an “off” day where she’s whiny or grumpy, it really makes things challenging.
But the third factor that is making things so challenging for me (and my wife) this time is my schedule. In 2018 with my first born, I hadn’t quite started my new business and I had one primary project that covered most of my living expenses and only required a couple days out of town a month for me. And to supplement that income, I had a side job at Sync Studio — a fitness studio one mile from my house.
Now, not only have I been growing that new business for a few years, we are making some major changes this year that have required a lot of my time, energy, and brainspace. I have two weekly shows — my podcast and a Facebook Live show for a client. I travel for speaking gigs and video shoots several times a month. I’m producing two films and releasing a book and blah, blah, blah…
It’s a lot. And that’s not special. We all work hard.
But it means I’m not there as much for my wife (who fortunately has a decent maternity leave) and she bears more responsibility. So the stress level is high around the house.
And I want to help any time I can to alleviate some of her stress, so I constantly am pulled between work and child-rearing with little time left to breathe. I rarely workout, or meditate, or read — all things that help me maintain my peace of mind.
Add that sleeping no longer than two or three hours at a time, and mental and physical health.
Last week was particularly rough. My daughter wasn’t sleeping (or behaving) well. My son slipped back into eating every two hours instead of three or four. I had a 21-hour day followed by a 17-hour day, followed by a two day work trip to eastern North Carolina that included two presentations, three video shoots, and ten hours of driving. There were less hours sleeping than driving.
So. What’s the point of all this complaining?
In this column and on my social media I often share my “wins.” And there have been some great ones, including some really great ones lately. I’m proud of that. I’m grateful.
But I think sometimes people may see others’ lives or posts about their lives and just see one side of the picture. That whole “grass is greener” thing, you know?
So while I share my wins in the hopes that it may inspire some people or show them a path they might take if they have similar goals, I also try to be vulnerable and show the ugly side of things.
Life is hard. Business is hard. Having big dreams and ambitions that you plan to achieve is incredibly hard.
Sometimes people act like we shouldn’t complain just because we have great things happening in our lives. Or on the flip side, if things are tough, we struggle to see the beautiful things in life we should be grateful for.
It’s not binary.
We can be stressed, anxiety-ridden, and on the brink of burnout, and grateful for our lives all at the same time.
And I think that we all might manage a little bit better if we were more open and honest about that. With others, but especially with ourselves.
Because the more we talk about it, the less alone we feel.
And that is how we collectively heal.
Rain Bennett is a two-time Emmy-nominated filmmaker, writer, and competitive storyteller with over a decade of experience producing documentary films that focus on health and wellness. His mission is simple: to make the world happier and healthier by sharing stories of change.
You can read the rest of “Right as Rain” here, and check back every Wednesday on Chapelboro for a new column!
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