Contra dancing has been part of America almost since the nation was founded. It’s similar to square dancing, except the couples are arranged in long lines. Hundreds of contra dance groups around the country twirl and do-si-do to traditional and more modern music.

Monthly dances at the Carrboro Century Center not only feature 70’s pop classics, but also another break with tradition. First Saturday Contra Dance caller Emily Rush refers to couples as “larks and ravens” rather than “ladies and gents”. 

Gender neutrality is a trend, as contra dancing has spread beyond its country roots to bigger cities, suburbs, and college towns like Carrboro. One recent survey found more than 100 non-gendered dance groups across the nation. 

“I really dig like callers being creative callers, being inclusive. And as an organizer, I think the number one thing that’s important is to make everybody feel welcome,” said Rita Bennett-Chew, president of the group that hosted the Carrboro event.

For dancer Bec Mueffelmann, the words a caller use make a big difference.

“At this point, I probably won’t come to a dance unless I know for sure that the caller is doing non gender calling,” Mueffelmann said.  

Mueffelmann is non-binary and uses the pronoun they. Mueffelmann says contra dancing has been a big part of their life, and it’s even how they met their husband. 

“Not really wanting to be labeled either gent or lady, and just hearing that repetition over was just kind of like nails on a chalkboard,” they added. 

But why larks and ravens? They’re distinct enough to be understood over music, and they start with L and R to correspond to the partners on the left and the right. Some callers use “robins” instead, because ravens are culturally significant to North American indigenous groups.

Country dance historian David Millstone says the words have been a major transition away from contra dancing’s original roots.  

“Contra dancing, historically, stems from English Country Dance, which is a very gendered form of dance – typically men and women lining up as couples to dance in long lines,” he said. 

He says a big reason people dance is to meet romantic partners, so it’s not surprising gender roles have changed in contra dancing as they’ve changed in society. Still, Millstone says it’s not easy for everyone to accept.

“The argument that it’s more inclusive doesn’t ring completely true because it does tend to exclude some older dancers, people who are accustomed to one role and one set of terminology,” Millstone said.

Mark Rosso, who has been contra dancing for more than 20 years, says non-gendered terms have both pros and cons. 

“I’m an experienced dancer and I sometimes have to pause like, ‘Am I a lark? Am I a raven?’ and it takes me a while even though I’m experienced. So I enjoy when I don’t have to make that extra effort and I can be on time more, but I do appreciate a wider variety of people being here,” he said. 

But as the music blared across the hardwood floor, Rosso – and most of the other dancers – were focused on trying to keep up with the caller and have a good time, not on what they and partners were called.

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