In this edition of Addressing Taboo Topics, we take a look at the prevalence of infertility in the United States and how to best decrease the stigma surrounding the issue. Plus, what support options are offered locally at UNC.
For many people, having children and growing their family is a top priority; however, the path to conception isn’t always straightforward.
Infertility is a disease of the male or female reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 or more months of unprotected sex.
Dr. Genevieve Neal-Perry is the chair of the UNC Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. She said infertility is more common than you’d think.
“The risk for infertility changes based on age,” Neal-Perry said, “but in general, it’s about one in eight individuals who desire to have children [that] have infertility.”
According to the CDC, about 10 percent of U.S. women ages 15 to 44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant – that’s 6.1 million people. Despite its prevalence, however, Neal-Perry said there’s not a lot of mainstream education on the topic.
“Infertility is not a cosmetic issue. It is a medical problem,” Neal-Perry said. “It’s like having diabetes. It’s like having asthma. It’s a medical problem that needs intervention in order to overcome it.”
Medical interventions to treat infertility include medicine, surgery, intrauterine insemination, or assisted reproductive technology.
While infertility can often be perceived as a “women’s issue,” Neal-Perry said approximately one-third of infertility is attributed to the female partner, one-third is attributed to the male partner, and one-third is caused by a combination of problems in both partners or is unexplained.
Causes of infertility can range anywhere from cancer treatments, smoking, autoimmune disorders, and abnormal sperm function in men to excessive stress, eating disorders, PCOS, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in women.
“When we’re growing up and we’re thinking about what life will be as an adult, there are very few of us who think that they may have infertility later in life,” Neal-Perry said. “So, it’s something that many of us take for granted. So, when couples or individuals are confronted with a diagnosis of infertility, it can really take a toll on an individual or on a couple.”
Neal-Perry said one of the best ways to help those who are struggling with infertility is to provide a safe space for them to talk about it.
“In general, we don’t talk about infertility and that contributes to the taboo nature of it,” she said. “When people talk about reproduction, they’re talking about it like it’s something that everybody has – and if you’re not getting pregnant, you’re doing something wrong. That’s not the case at all.”
When navigating a stressful and often foreign infertility process, Neal-Perry said it’s important to seek out an adequate support system. She said having a community to lean on and share your experiences with is vital.
Darryl Owens is a women services chaplain and grief counselor at the UNC Medical Center. Since 2001, he has provided pastoral care and counseling to patients, families, and staff served by the North Carolina Women’s Hospital.
Whether it stems from a pregnancy loss or navigating the ups and downs of infertility, Owens said all grief is valid and deserving of care.
“If you’re still looking at it as ‘something’s really wrong with me,’ no, you’re a normal person having this experience, especially when we’re talking about infertility,” Owens said. “There’s so much grief that comes up when it’s a false positive. Or they may get pregnant and have a miscarriage. Those are losses.”
Owens said there is often a feeling of shame if a person is not able to get pregnant or loses an infant during pregnancy, which could in turn discourage people from reaching out for the support and care they need. To help those who are struggling in silence, he said we can start dismantling the stigma that surrounds infertility by sharing personal experiences.
“A couple of friends of mine are much younger who have been going through fertility challenges and have been open about their experiences with the positives and the challenges of it,” Owens said, “and I’ve reached out to them and applauded them for doing that on social media because it makes it more real.”
Part of Owens’ job includes connecting people with resources, whether it be finding more therapeutic help after a pregnancy loss or encouraging patients to reach out to their providers for treatment options.
While open and honest conversations are not always easy to have considering the emotional, physical, and financial toll of traversing infertility, he said they’re essential to break the taboo of seeking help.
“If someone needs help, get it,” Owens said. “It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It means something’s right with you.”
UNC Fertility offers therapy, counseling and support group options for those undergoing fertility treatment. Learn more here. Find help through UNC’s department of pastoral care and bereavement services here.
Check out the last issue of “Addressing Taboo Topics” on the link between domestic violence and guns here.
Have a taboo topic that you feel needs to be addressed? Send your ideas to elle@wchl.com.
Lead photo via Office on Women’s Health.
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