The Downtowner: Bring on 2020

As I get older, I become increasingly nostalgic and reflective as years come to an end. I like thinking about what has transpired and what I’ve accomplished — but I’m also someone who can be notoriously hard on myself, so I try not to obsess.

As we put the finishing touches on 2019, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. My business had its best year ever, and sometimes I’m just amazed that a business bearing my name exists at all. How did that happen? (Answer: I just did it. I offered my services at a price to one person once. And then again. And again. Et voilà!) My business has taught me a lot about belief and about patience. Because somehow, one opportunity after another, almost as if pre-destined, appears at just the right time. Introductions happen. Or I pop into someone’s head. “Do you think this is something we can collaborate on?” they inquire over email. Those messages make me giddy. Even if the collaboration ultimately doesn’t pan out, those connective moments are full of possibility.

I stand in awe that one payment after another arrives, not with the same rhythm as a biweekly salary, but with regularity nonetheless. It floors me that the ideas I come up with, professionally and otherwise – to help someone’s business, to form a musical group or to shape our state’s politics – find open arms to invite them in.

This year, I’ve lost loved ones, expectedly and not. I’ve grappled with personal divisions I never saw coming. I’ve made dear friends who I didn’t even know existed this time last year. I’ve been disheartened – to put it mildly – by what has dominated the national headlines every hour.

I’ve been too hard on myself at times and too easy on myself other times. I didn’t read for pleasure enough. I didn’t work out enough. I watched cable news too much. I ate too many salty snacks. I said “no” more than ever, and without guilt or the offer of a breathless explanation, which felt incredible. I’ve also said “yes” more than ever, to the impractical and the joy-inducing. My tennis game didn’t improve as much as I would have liked. I didn’t call loved ones enough, just to say hello. I worked hard, but not every day. At the same time, I spent too many weekends staring at my laptop screen, telling myself that I needed to put in just a few more hours of work. I should cut that nonsense out.

My husband and I entertained more this year than we have in years – kind of ironic, considering we downsized to about 850 square feet in March — but also a testament to the magnetism of a buzzing downtown setting. I would guess that something like 60 people have seen the inside of our apartment, though not all at once, of course! I loved my trips this year – to Atlanta, Hilton Head, Chicago, Palm Springs, Cabo San Lucas. It’s never enough to satiate my desire to travel, but I also know I would only venture to half as many places if I didn’t have the flexibility that self-employment offers. Even more, I love coming home. Years ago, I set out to live a life that I really didn’t need a vacation from, and for the most part, I’ve achieved that.

I’m stepping into 2020 with goals both measurable and vague, and I’m excited about all that awaits. When I look at my calendar for the next 12 months, hope washes over me. I’m feeling optimistic about a new business partnership that’s forming. About travels to places that will challenge and exhilarate me. About new community service projects. That I will take steps to be a better business owner, spouse, friend, relative, advocate, Durhamite. That as a nation and as a region, we can march into the future more kind, more empathetic and more clear-eyed, having experienced a tumultuous few years.

The calendar lunges forward, and so do we. Happy new year, everyone.

 

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After a decade as an editor with various NC magazines, Andrea Cash launched her own creative services company, Andrea Cash Creative, in 2017. She helps small businesses and organizations in Durham and Chapel Hill with content strategy and creation, branding, PR, social media, and video and event production.

Andrea is passionate about community building, doing work that benefits the greater good and helping entrepreneurs grow their business in a purposeful way. Outside of work, Andrea sings in her cover band Penny’s Bend, plays tennis as often as she can, volunteers with Habitat for Humanity of Orange County and Book Harvest, and runs communications for grassroots progressive group FLIP NC.