When you are childfree by choice, time is a funny thing. I have been with my husband since 2006. If you think about it, in many ways, our life looks pretty similar to how it did 13 years ago. Sunday brunches. Dinner out on a Wednesday. Concert tickets on a Tuesday. Our home furnishing needs haven’t changed. Our closets more or less look the same – they aren’t full of diaper bags, play mats and strollers. Our photos more or less look the same – it’s us. Sure, extra pounds come and go, and so do certain fashion choices, but there’s no giggling baby in our laps or puppies at our feet.

Celebrating my husband’s 29th birthday at S & T Soda Shoppe in 2009.

Our relationship, while it’s ebbed and flowed just as any does, hasn’t undergone the epic upheavals that come with infants, pets, a big house with a yard. We’ve navigated plenty – but not those things.

Life generally has seasons – for example, a couple with a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old might be in a season of life where their needs feel secondary. Where date nights are on the back burner and an all-inclusive tropical vacation with another couple is out of the question.

We have fewer seasons. If that couple with two kids lives in Maryland, with four distinct seasons, Patrick and I live in Miami. The weather doesn’t vary all that much.

This is by design. I’m perfectly happy with the Miami temps! But I do like to change other things, just to keep on my toes and stay in the habit of being well-adjusted when it comes to switching things up.

I created a business that has a lot of change built into it by definition. I’m more likely to help a client for a few months than a few years. This means I’m constantly seeking new clients, consistently navigating fresh sets of goals, always changing gears and regularly learning how to work with different groups of people. None of this stresses me out. It all exhilarates me.

No two days are alike in my work day. Some days, I am showered and out of the apartment at 7:45 for a full day of meetings. Some days, I do four hours of work in my living room in the early morning hours, then take a long walk, shower in the afternoon and get back to work. Some days, I’m on a video shoot for the duration. Other days, I help a client run a big event. At times, I’m an introverted writer, cranking out hundreds of words per day. At other times, I’m a public speaker, working a room. You get the idea.

Outside of work, I find projects constantly. I form a new band when I feel like I’ve outgrown my old one. I regularly seek out new tennis partners, new hiking trails, new volunteer opportunities.

Touring Washington, D.C. in 2018.

Lately, I’ve been conferring with some friends who feel a bit stuck in life. They are feeling uninspired, a bit bored and even a little unfulfilled. They are trying to figure out if a major life shift is in order and if they can handle the nerves and the risks associated, but in the interim, I’m encouraging them to start small.

It takes a lot of guts to harness the courage to switch careers, go back to school, move across the country or say farewell to a relationship that just doesn’t feel right. Making a smaller change – or two – will likely provide the motivation, confidence and experience needed to go bigger in the future.

Believe me, your significant other would much rather you get away for a week and go on a yoga retreat to recharge your mind, body and soul than to watch you skip town forever, right? Likewise, your boss would probably want you to suggest modifications to your work load before you throw up your hands and turn in your notice.

But you might want to start even smaller. Change your order at the coffee shop. Buy a different brand of running shoes. Try a new haircut. Buy three new outfits that are unlike anything else in your closet. Take the scenic route during your evening commute. Try out a new fitness class. Turn your Saturday routine on its head. Plan a weekend getaway that’s completely unfamiliar. Sign up for a photography class. Apply for a side gig that puts you in an environment you’ve always wanted to explore – maybe that’s on a farm, in the theater, or engrossed in history.

Chances are, bigger changes are on the horizon. They’re inevitable. There will be different jobs, new houses, unexpected friends, devastating losses, fulfilling plot twists and maybe even a new city – one day.

But that doesn’t mean we need to wait. Make a small change today. You’ll probably find that it feels so good – you’ll want to keep going.

 


After a decade as an editor with various NC magazines, Andrea Cash launched her own creative services company, Andrea Cash Creative, in 2017. She helps small businesses and organizations in Durham and Chapel Hill with content strategy and creation, branding, PR, social media, and video and event production.

Andrea is passionate about community building, doing work that benefits the greater good and helping entrepreneurs grow their business in a purposeful way. Outside of work, Andrea sings in her cover band Penny’s Bend, plays tennis as often as she can, volunteers with Habitat for Humanity of Orange County and Book Harvest, and runs communications for grassroots progressive group FLIP NC.