Home sweet home. (photo via Andrea Griffith Cash)
I’m writing this column from my brand new downtown Durham apartment. It’s a gorgeous spring day and the sun is soaking the Lucky Strike Tower — which I can see from my living room window. Earlier, I caught a glimpse of the Durham Bulls practicing on their bright green outfield as I walked to lunch on the American Tobacco Campus.
My husband and I have only been occupants of this apartment for about 10 days, but the reality is that it took us years to get here. We both grew up in small towns in rural America. We went to college in bigger areas (Raleigh and High Point, respectively), but remained staunch suburbanites after graduation. Having embarked on our relationship during our first post-college jobs in Greensboro, we bought a ranch house in Pittsboro in 2009 to accommodate my new job in Chapel Hill and his near Pinehurst.
We were good at home ownership – the place was well maintained and nicely decorated, and we threw some killer parties. But mowing the grass, sealing the deck, cleaning the gutters, troubleshooting a malfunctioning icemaker – all of this caused stress and bickering. There were many nights when our house was truly just a place to sleep after a 14-hour day in a nearby town.
In 2015, after six years of home ownership, we decided to sell the house and rent an apartment in southwest Durham. The complex had a top-notch exercise room, a swimming pool, valet trash service and walking trails. We were happy in our new place from the moment we moved in. We spent less time in the car commuting to work (by this time, my husband had switched jobs and was based in RTP), and we were closer to restaurants, shops, friends – which meant we had more time to do what we wanted. We also had more time because we had less space to clean, no yard to mow, and a maintenance team at our beck and call. (Seriously, a light bulb would go out, and we would put in a work order!) It’s so rare in this life to receive the gift of more time – it felt freeing.
A spring evening atop the Durham Hotel (photo via Andrea Griffith Cash)
But I also felt a bit that we were moving in the wrong direction. At least, that’s what society had ingrained in me. We had gone from 1,700 square feet to about 1,200 square feet. From three bedrooms to two. From a tight-knit HOA to a residential building with the regular turnover that often comes with renting. From a two-car garage to a parking lot. Aren’t most people in their 30s who are rising in their careers looking for bigger homes – or maybe even a second home at the beach?
I had to stop and remind myself: We aren’t most thirtysomethings. And that’s OK. We are child-free by choice, dog-free by choice, cat-free by choice and even plant-free by choice. (Who wants to worry about having the plants watered while you’re out of town? Not us!) We’re also debt-free by careful design. To us, a satisfying day is productive, yes – I have my own creative services business, and it’s no secret that self-employment is not for those who want to put in 30 hours a week. But a satisfying day is also fun, adventurous and maybe even indulgent. I love a vacation as much as the next person, but I also don’t understand why an average Tuesday can’t involve an art exhibit, a play, a concert, a brewery tasting, a massage or a quality meal out. My goal is to create a life that, by and large, I don’t need a vacation from. I want to experience my city the same way I experience one that I hop on a plane to explore – making dinner reservations, looking into special events and tours, buying tickets to shows. I want to bring a sense of wonder to every day – or at least most.
Fireworks above the Durham Bulls Athletic Park. What a view! (photo via Andrea Griffith Cash)
When you build a life of flexibility, as we have, you’re free to follow your whims. Meet a friend for a spontaneous happy hour. Go for a hike on a weekday morning. Relax by the pool on a Monday after work.
Recently, with our move to downtown Durham, we’ve taken this a step further. Durham is no Manhattan, of course, but this is the most urban setting we have ever lived in. So much is right outside our door, inviting us to explore, and more is on the way.
Within a quarter-mile walk, I can be at DPAC, DBAP, the American Tobacco Trail, and so many incredible bars and restaurants. We could probably sell one of our cars. We’re now down to one bedroom and about 850 square feet – because downtown living doesn’t come cheap. A smaller space meant we had to purge a lot of the furnishings we didn’t love, clothing we didn’t wear, and just random things we had accumulated over the years, but we didn’t mind that. We want to collect experiences and memories, not stuff.
In this monthly column, I’ll share how I’m designing my life – from building my business to leaning into a more urban lifestyle, soaking up every opportunity for fun and exploration that time allows. Hopefully, I’ll encourage you to live a life that’s a bit bolder – one that meets what you truly long for. It’s been my experience that making one small change in life can open up so many possibilities. You just have to make that first move.
After a decade as an editor with various NC magazines, Andrea Cash launched her own creative services company, Andrea Cash Creative, in 2017. She helps small businesses and organizations in Durham and Chapel Hill with content strategy and creation, branding, PR, social media, and video and event production.
Andrea is passionate about community building, doing work that benefits the greater good and helping entrepreneurs grow their business in a purposeful way. Outside of work, Andrea sings in her cover band Penny’s Bend, plays tennis as often as she can, volunteers with Habitat for Humanity of Orange County and Book Harvest, and runs communications for grassroots progressive group FLIP NC.
What a great beginning to your new adventures. Can’t wait to read more! And who knows: could there be a book in this?!?!?!