“Notes From the Field” with Erin Matson on Chapelboro.com is proudly presented by Chapel Hill Tire.
Erin Matson is a Tar Heel, world-class athlete, team player and champion. Here, in “Notes From the Field,” she’ll be sharing some of her thoughts in an ongoing series set to cover anything and everything on her mind. You can find the full series so far here, on Chapelboro.
I used to love oxymorons as a kid.
Jumbo shrimp.
Freezer burn.
Plastic silverware.
Old news.
Deafening silence.
I liked the way the words made complete sense but also totally contradicted each other. How they had two separate feelings – one of clarity and one that made you stop and question how they actually could belong together. The pairs were a push-and-pull, up-and-down, smirk-then-head-tilt all wrapped in one.
Well, I’ve got another one for ya.
Senior Day.
Okay…maybe not the best example that follows the rules of the English language. But the entire day was a seemingly contradictory combination of emotions.
From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning and my boyfriend excitedly said, “Happy Senior Day!!” with a smile, I could feel the unsettling excitement yet heartache that would stick around all day.
Walking into the decorated locker room with the widest grin on my face…finding myself tearing up reading the poster of personal messages all of my teammates wrote to me.
Running across the field, receiving my bouquet of flowers from Coach, and embracing her in a long, emotional hug before finding my family…having to “turn off my emotions” and take care of business with my teammates for the next 60 minutes.
Being excited to say my Senior Day Speech at the tailgate, expressing my thankfulness and love for everyone there…barely being able to make it through certain sentences because talking about ‘saying goodbye’ was even harder than writing about it.
Opening our gifts together as Seniors, thankful for the thought and extra effort that was put into making us feel like princesses…realizing the unique Chapel Hill coasters, Carolina blanket, framed pictures, and more will be on display in our first, post-college apartment or house.
💙 Senior 💙 Day 💙 Vibes 💙#GoHeels x @UNCGAA pic.twitter.com/sa71ngBGRc
— UNC Field Hockey (@UNCFieldHockey) October 23, 2022
Even though it was a day of celebration and we could truly feel the love, it was also a day full of intense emotion.
Happy tears.
Bittersweet.
Imperfectly perfect.
There is no better way to explain how the rest of the Senior class and I felt except to describe us as feeling like walking oxymorons.
I’m not saying it wasn’t a beautiful day or that I didn’t enjoy every second of it; that wasn’t the case at all! It was one of the most memorable ones of my entire life.
I was fortunate enough to celebrate with my mom and dad, and my brother, who flew from Boston and surprised me. As mentioned above, Ben was also there and showered me with “I’m so proud of you’s” and “I love you’s” all day. My coaches and the rest of the program’s staff made it clear that they wanted us to feel like we were the stars of the show. Our beloved parent group and the rest of our supporters went above and beyond with everything so that we would remember this day forever. And the team (the team!) was spectacular, thoughtful, amazing, hardworking, supportive, and any other adjective that could be used to describe the best team in the world.
Again, it was one of the most special and terrific days of my career and life. It was also uncanny for all of us, but in a good way. A weird way. But a good, weird way. (See what I mean?)
However, after all of the emotion and hooplah, one thing settled us. After the speeches were done, tears were wiped, and hugs were complete, one common thought brought us back together. It reminded us why we are here and motivated everyone standing on that patio: We’re not done yet.
Featured photo via Carolina Athletics Communications.
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