Life isn’t easy.
I’m not dropping any breaking news with that statement. But why is it so hard when you’re trying to do better and be better?
Sometimes it feels like we are being punished for trying to grow? Shouldn’t life and the world and all its energy conspire to help us make progress?
No.
That’s not how growth works. There is no growth without resistance.
If you want to gain muscle mass, you literally have to tear your muscle fibers. Then, after rest and recovery, and feeding them with protein, they grow back stronger.
If you want to save money, you have to resist the urge to spend. That means you can’t make frivolous fun purchases, but after some time, you’ll be able to enjoy peace of mind.
If you want to achieve your long term goals — like starting a business or writing your book — you have to sacrifice your short term pleasures. You can’t party every night, or watch Netflix four hours a day and sometimes you may miss great moments of life. And that’s difficult to balance.
For almost all of these examples, but especially the last one, we face an even stronger force of opposition: the fear, insecurity, and anxiety that already exists in our brains.
It seems like we’re wired to work against ourselves or something inside of our psyche is preventing us from unlocking the doors that would lead us forward, like the force of opposition is internal, not external. That’s because it is.
Joseph Campbell — whom I’m an acolyte for due to his storytelling contributions — once said, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
And though I’m far from a wise man with everything figured out, I’ve learned that statement is true. There are certain things that we are almost inherently afraid of, it seems.
It could be something we’re insecure about or a feeling of imposter syndrome because of where we come from or just something we’re incredibly uncomfortable doing.
Our minds tell us to avoid that feeling, but our hearts won’t let us forget it.
That’s because we need it. We have to enter the cave.
And once we face those feelings that we’d prefer to keep in the darkness, we learn that the cave is not some external destination we’re trying to avoid. The cave is our core.
The darkness is inside of us and we can’t run from it.
We shouldn’t even try to.
Ultimately, darkness and light are the same thing. Two sides of the same coin. We need one to have the other and they are inseparable.
As Carl Jung (who was highly influential on Campbell’s work) said, “To confront a person with their own shadow is to show them their own light.”
The cave isn’t something to fear. The cave is the way to our light.
And once we realize that, we unlock that door that our minds locked long ago to see our way forward, through the darkness and into the light, so that we can achieve the growth we seek.
Rain Bennett is a two-time Emmy-nominated filmmaker, writer, and competitive storyteller with over a decade of experience producing documentary films that focus on health and wellness. His mission is simple: to make the world happier and healthier by sharing stories of change.
You can read the rest of “Right as Rain” here, and check back every Wednesday on Chapelboro for a new column!
