As an emergency medicine physician in New York City, Dr. Kamini Doobay has always known that death is part of the territory when trying to care for the city’s sickest.
But it hasn’t always been like this — patients hit the hardest by the coronavirus, struggling to breathe and on ventilators, with no visitors allowed because of strict protocols to prevent spreading the virus.
“So often a patient will be on their deathbed, dying alone, and it’s been incredibly painful to see the suffering of family members who I call from the ICU, hearing the tears, crying with them on the phone,” said Doobay, 31.
“Too many people are dying alone with absolutely no family around them,” she said. “This is one of the most horrific things.”
A third-year resident, Doobay, who works at New York University Langone Medical Center and Bellevue Hospital, said being among the doctors and other health care workers trying desperately to deal with the wave of sick and dying patients coming into city hospitals is “unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, it’s very chaotic, it’s overwhelming.”
“I’ve never felt so physically and emotionally burdened in my life, I’ve never felt so deeply sad and distraught,” the New York City native said.
While the coronavirus causes mild or moderate symptoms in most people, it can lead to more severe illnesses, including pneumonia and death for some, like those who are older or have underlying health issues.
The impact it’s had on the city’s hospitals also has health care providers like Doobay worried about their own exposure, and wanting officials in charge to do everything possible to get hospital workers the protective equipment they need to protect their own health.
“We did not go into this field thinking we’re going to be martyrs,” she said. “This is a serious crisis that we’re in and we deserve to be protected. We’re not in a battlefield. We’re not in a war zone.”
And she worries about the kinds of choices all doctors could be faced with: Who should get what kind of help if the number of cases and hospitalizations continues to increase past the point where there is enough equipment, like ventilators, to meet the extreme patient need?
“Who does that ventilator belong to? These are questions that, you know, I think about when I go home at night and fortunately, haven’t had to make those decisions yet,” she said. “But we’re getting there.”
She hoped the general public would listen to the experts and do all they can to limit the virus’s spread through self-quarantining and similar measures.
“It’s really painful to see someone die. It’s really painful to not know what the future holds. And we’re really working hard to protect you,” Doobay said. “So I hope that we can all join in solidarity to protect each other.”
Related Stories
‹
![]()
‘Cacophony of Coughing’: Inside NYC’s Virus-Besieged ERsA “cacophony of coughing” in packed emergency rooms. Beds squeezed in wherever there is space. Overworked, sleep-deprived doctors and nurses rationed to one face mask a day and wracked by worry about a dwindling number of available ventilators. Such is the reality inside New York City’s hospitals, which have become the war-zone-like epicenter of the […]
![]()
In Detroit, NYC, Kindness Comes One Slice of Pizza at a TimeBefore the pandemic, Shalinder Singh spent Sundays at his gurdwara, helping serve a community meal for 300 people or more at the Sikh place of worship in suburban Detroit. Now, he’s all about pizza. Singh and his family have paid for and delivered hundreds of pies to hospitals, police stations and fire departments since the […]
![]()
Wear a Mask? Even with 20,000 Dead, Some New Yorkers Don’tEric Leventhal felt a sneeze coming and panicked. The Brooklynite left his cloth face mask at home for a morning run in a park last week. Walking home, he turned toward an empty street and let the sneeze out, hoping no one would notice. Too bad for him, there’s no hiding without a mask in […]
![]()
Two Hispanic Churches and Too Many Tears: 100 COVID-19 DeathsOne is a Roman Catholic church in Queens; the other, a Lutheran church in Manhattan. But the COVID-19 pandemic has united the two Hispanic congregations in grief. Between them, they have lost more than 100 members to the coronavirus, and because of lockdown rules, they lack even the ability to mourn together in person. Many […]

After COVID-19: Anxious, Wary First Responders Back on JobThe new coronavirus doesn’t care about a blue uniform or a shiny badge. Police, firefighters, paramedics and corrections officers are just a 911 call away from contracting COVID-19 and spreading it. With N95 masks hanging off their duty belts and disposable blue gloves stuffed in their back pockets, they respond to radio calls, make arrests and manage prisoners. But […]
![]()
2 Cats in NY Become First U.S. Pets to Test Positive for VirusTwo pet cats in New York state have tested positive for the coronavirus, marking the first confirmed cases in companion animals in the United States, federal officials said Wednesday. The cats, which had mild respiratory illnesses and are expected to recover, are thought to have contracted the virus from people in their households or neighborhoods, […]
![]()
Coronavirus Survivor: ‘In My Blood, There May Be Answers’Tiffany Pinckney remembers the fear when COVID-19 stole her breath. So when she recovered, the New York City mother became one of the country’s first survivors to donate her blood to help treat other seriously ill patients. “It is definitely overwhelming to know that in my blood, there may be answers,” Pinckney told The Associated […]
![]()
Florida in Cruise-ship Standoff, New York Collects its DeadFlorida officials were locked in a standoff with two cruise ships steaming toward the coast Tuesday as more coronavirus hot spots flared around the country and embattled New York City used forklifts to load bodies onto refrigerated trucks in plain view outside overwhelmed hospitals. Across the country, Americans braced for what President Donald Trump warned […]
![]()
Spain’s Hospitals at Breaking Point as Infections Pass ChinaSpain overtook China on Monday in confirmed coronavirus infections as the pandemic stretched scores of Spanish hospitals to their breaking point. As confirmed virus deaths in New York surpassed 1,000, President Donald Trump extended stay-at-home recommendations for a month in an abrupt turnaround. With a population of only 47 million people to China’s 1.4 billion, […]
![]()
A New York Doctor’s Story: ‘Too Many People are Dying Alone’As an emergency medicine physician in New York City, Dr. Kamini Doobay has always known that death is part of the territory when trying to care for the city’s sickest. But it hasn’t always been like this — patients hit the hardest by the coronavirus, struggling to breathe and on ventilators, with no visitors allowed […]
›
Comments on Chapelboro are moderated according to our Community Guidelines