Hi-ho Silver, Ol’ Roy will be the masked man on the bench.

Roy Williams held his first Zoom press conference of the new basketball season, and he was the same old coach Carolina has had for the last 17 years. Except for the following:

Roy is still ticked off – he used another word – for coaching his first losing college team in 2019-20. You remember that, it only ended eight months ago when it seems like eight COVID years.

He said he has worn a mask for all six practices so far and plans to wear one while he is coaching unless someone tells him he doesn’t have to. And, rest assured, that someone won’t be his wife, Wanda.

The Heels will be a lot better than his worst-shooting team of all time and, without having checked the record books, possibly UNC’s worst of all time. You remember, 42 percent from the field — clank, clank; 30.4 percent from 3-point range – clank, clank, clank; 68 percent from the foul line, half a clank.

The reason why is the arrival of six new scholarship freshmen, four of them five-stars as deemed by recruiting gurus. On paper, the Tar Heels go from tied for last (with Wake Forest) in the ACC to a conference contender. Remember the names Caleb Love, Walker Kessler, Day’Ron Sharpe and R.J. Davis, joining returnees Garrison Brooks, Leaky Black and Armando Bacot.

And Roy won’t have any problem talking to his players during timeouts, regardless of his mask and how freakin’ far apart the health experts say the chairs on his bench must be. “I have never had trouble being heard,” Ol’ Roy said.

As for details on his new team, which replaces the first losing team anyone on his coaching staff has ever been associated with, the new guys won’t hear about the 14-19 Heels losing six times on buzzer-beaters and three more on blown box-outs, since bad defense and poor execution will not be part of the 2020-21 game plan.

“I loved the old normal, and I will have to learn to love the new normal,” said the masked man of the pandemic protocols that will feature fewer fans and, hopefully, a lot more wins.

 

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