Tony Morrison said it first: “We was girls together.” She was talking about Nel and Sula, two young girls who met in a dream, in her 1973 novel “Sula.” This sentiment has continued to strike a cornerstone chord, relating the shared experience of youth and girlhood, and was remembered once again when it resurfaced on a now-famous park bench thanks to a social media post last spring. “For my lifelong best friend Judy, from Janice,” it reads. “We were girls together.”

Even now, it’s not entirely clear where this poignant plaque and the bench it adorns can be found, where Judy and Janice called home. Their story, however obscured by the passage of years, has nevertheless defied space and time — virtually touching the hearts of millions through the modern magic of social media shared connection.

This season of thawing, growing and moving on is a universal experience that our college town is thrust into again and again. A season where 8 a.m. classes, Friday morning hangovers and sweaty fraternity parties are suddenly deemed romantic and steeped in nostalgia as spring flowers give way to rose-colored glasses.

The romance of graduation is just as romantic as tuition bills, calls for extra cash and trips home to do laundry seem to parents as soon as their student puts on that pretty Carolina blue cap — headwear that represents endings, beginnings, and rites of passage beyond the comfortable and familiar. Time and memory has a way of smoothing over rough edges, after all.

“I do know that things that seem really bad, whether it’s a grade or a paper that didn’t turn out how you wanted, it’s not nearly as big of a deal as you think,” said Margo MacIntyre, curator of the Coker Arboretum. “The farther you get from it, the smaller and more insignificant it becomes.“

Whether you graduated fifty years ago or are graduating next week, Chapel Hill remembers, and Coker Arboretum does, too. Park bench dedications aren’t just found on social media, and we’ve got plenty of our own history right here. Tar Heel born, Tar Heel Bred, and when we die we’ll be Tar Heel dead. But our stories continue, and small remembrances like the bench plaques at Coker Arboretum provide solid proof of the longevity found in some special, sacred places.

From 1903 to now, here’s some of the dedications you’ll find at the arboretum:

For Kristian E. Kadile, “His quiet strength and enduring patience taught us that love is all we have, all we need.”

For Mary Farrell Sweeney, “Her kindness to people and loving, gentle spirit will always be remembered and treasured.”

For Lisa C. Moran, “Our beautiful, caring, enchanting angel. We love and miss you every day.”

And simply, for 1977, “beautiful memories.”

To the class of 2023, when you look back at your time at UNC and life on the hill, may it be remembered as quiet in its strength, loud in its kindness, and gentle in the way love was the thread running through it all. May “beautiful memories” simply say it all.

(featured image via Coker Arboretum)

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