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Making Time for Diversity
A perspective from Andrew Taylor-Troutman
As the winter solstice approaches, I realize that some of my longest nights as a parent are already here — the kids are out of school for winter break.
The irony of the phrase “put them to bed” is that my kids do not stay put. Days before Santa’s schedule visit, they are still too excited to sleep. They get up for water. They ask for food, which I forbid. So, they drink more water. They want more stuffed animals, more blankets, more pillows. They want less pillows. Of course, they need to use the bathroom — again! I get sick and tired of these games. They are not tired.
Though shortened by the setting sun, the days during winter break can feel even longer. My wife heroically organizes activities: decorating gingerbread houses, baking Christmas cookies, a trip to the Chinese lantern festival in Raleigh. But that was just one day. There are two weeks to go!
Yet, the most challenging activities to schedule are times when my white kids can engage children of color. They could spend every hour of winter break hunkered in our almost all-white neighborhood.
Events, like the lantern festival, are significant. I want my kids to appreciate other cultures. This is a great use of our time.
But I can’t force them to play with Asian-American or Pacific Islander children anymore than I can steer my son toward friendship with the Black youth in his taekwondo class.
What I can and must do is model friendship. Not only in my working life, but during the holidays. This means paying attention to the people we invite to our home. There are opportunities for racial and ethnic diversity here in Chapel Hill and Carrboro. Who do I make for time for?
A child squirming in her bed can make for a long night. Weeks off from school can seem as vast and daunting as Siberia. But if there’s one thing I hear from my elders, it’s that time passes quickly. Blink, and you are negotiating Christmas with your child’s in-laws. Maybe they don’t come home at all.
Maybe the opportunities to hang out with people of color are few and far between during the winter break. But those experiences might be among the most fun and memorable. As America is increasingly polarized, more and more neighborhoods and schools virtually segregated, such engagement with people of color is one of the gifts of any season, including the holidays.
Speaking of extra effort, I’m off to put my daughter back in bed for the fifteenth time this evening!
“Viewpoints” on Chapelboro is a recurring series of community-submitted opinion columns. All thoughts, ideas, opinions and expressions in this series are those of the author, and do not reflect the work or reporting of 97.9 The Hill and Chapelboro.com.
