Getting control of socks can really matter.
A high school chum of mine (Deb) is going through a hard time right now – one to which I can really relate. Her husband, a disabled veteran, is in the hospital. It’s rough. My heart is with her all the time.
Deb and Liz are both still in Connecticut though not close to each other. We are in touch often. We watch Jeopardy many nights and comment on the contestants and the clues … very “Mean Girls” kind of stuff.
Of course, when my husband was ill earlier this year and now with our concerns over Deb’s husband, it gets very serious at times, but the relief comes when there’s a breather (?) in the medical drama. This morning, we talked about the emotional benefit of doing the laundry.
I was thinking back to the experiences of losing each of my parents, my uncle and my in-laws and you know what? For every time I have a distinct memory of doing laundry in the midst of it. It’s an almost soothing thought and I think I know why.
It’s because of the welcome tedium of doing a normal thing like sorting socks. This is a thing that we all do at some point during the week and doing something in a way that’s consistent with our daily/weekly routine helps us to feel like the wheels have not come completely off our wagons.
Having a clean pair of socks and some pants to go with them is a beautiful thing. Changing the sheets on your bed can make you feel like you got a hug from your mom. It does for me, anyway. Where my mom would have questions is the subject of my pillowcases. She ironed hers. I do not. Scandalous.
When my father-in-law was in his last days, a friend called and said she was coming over to help out around the house. I said she didn’t need to do that, etc. Thankfully, she ignored me. When she arrived, she decided on the laundry as our project.
We did about four loads of laundry. I was very tied up with the back and forth to the hospital and taking care of my own two kids (and my husband). I actually hadn’t noticed that the hampers were overflowing.
We sat in the living room and folded and sorted and matched up pairs of socks. For hours. When I wasn’t paying attention, she made us lunch. I felt like the wheels were back on the track.
During the holidays, many of us are busy with joyful tasks like shopping, baking and decorating, but it’s also very common that someone in our circle is sick or depressed. In this case, Christmas and New Years is a time to get through, not to joyfully embrace.
So, if you or someone in your gaggle of friends or family is struggling, drop the wrapping paper and do some laundry. Getting those socks lined up will really help.
Jean Bolduc is a freelance writer and the host of the Weekend Watercooler on 97.9 The Hill. She is the author of “African Americans of Durham & Orange Counties: An Oral History” (History Press, 2016) and has served on Orange County’s Human Relations Commission, The Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina, the Orange County Housing Authority Board of Commissioners, and the Orange County Schools’ Equity Task Force. She was a featured columnist and reporter for the Chapel Hill Herald and the News & Observer.
Readers can reach Jean via email – jean@penandinc.com and via Twitter @JeanBolduc
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