June is one of the most popular months to get married in the U.S., and after a two year hiatus, it looks like the wedding celebration is making a comeback. Most weddings take place between May and October with October being the most popular month followed by June and August. As people feel more comfortable hosting and attending larger events, couples are still likely to choose a date during warmer weather months so they can utilize outdoor venues; and the fall foliage is still the favorite backdrop for that special day.
Marriage was once considered a financial transaction/contract between families. Today, couples get married because of love, companionship, and commitment. But what about that pesky contract? Well, you still need one of those but now it is issued by the state and called a marriage license. In most North Carolina counties you can apply for the license online. You and your partner then have to go to the register of deeds office, pay a fee ($60) and answer a few questions: name, ages, marital status, and intention to marry. A marriage license expires after 60 days from when it was issued; if a wedding does not happen the couple must reapply.
Sounds pretty easy, but hold on!
Let’s say you are planning a small gathering at the beach or your backyard, and you want a friend or family member to perform the ceremony and sign the license. That friend pays $20 and becomes ordained by the Universal Life Church and the wedding takes place. Are you married? According to North Carolina law, you are not and your marriage is considered voidable. The ULC website is misleading and states otherwise.
But what is a voidable marriage? I recently spoke to someone who found himself in this situation. He stated: “We are still not clear on who would be able to void our marriage and under what circumstances, but either way we didn’t like this state of affairs. So I called to ask if we could apply to be married by a magistrate at a courthouse…and was told that we couldn’t do that because we’re already married.”
Currently Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina (in some cases Alabama, New York Pennsylvania and Utah) do not recognize marriages performed by ministers ordained via websites like the ULC. In general, states do not challenge couples and the validity only comes into play when the couple is divorcing and there are issues regarding alimony or marital property. So why the archaic law? What if a couple doesn’t want a religious wedding? How about interfaith couples, a non-religious couple or a same-sex couple?
You have two choices that are recognized in North Carolina: the magistrate or a minister who is ordained in a religious denomination or authorized by a church. But what if you did have a wedding officiated by someone ordained by ULC and feel uncomfortable with this new knowledge. The couple I mentioned above hired a lawyer and had their wedding annulled. After a few months they were able to apply for a new marriage license making sure to bring the certified copy of their judgment of annulment to the register of deeds office. They wasted no time and went over to the county jail where they were married by the magistrate on duty. How romantic!
North Carolina legislators need to revisit this law. It is outdated and somewhat discriminatory. Massachusetts offers a One-Day marriage designation where a friend or family member can perform a wedding ceremony. Let’s do this NC! Seems like a win-win for the couple and the state.
Penny and her family moved to Chapel Hill in 1998. She soon joined the Town of Chapel Hill’s Telecommunications and Technology advisory board and was appointed by the town to the OWASA board of directors where she served 6 years and held the Vice Chair position. In 2009 she ran and was elected to the town council in Chapel Hill, and in 2012 ran and was elected to the BOCC where she served 8 years, the last two as chair of the board. Penny owns and operates a personal chef and catering company and has been published in Cary Magazine, Gourmet Magazine, INDY Week, Southern Neighbor and News14. She lives in Carrboro with her mom Jersey Jacky. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram
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