I’ve always enjoyed traveling. Perhaps another immeasurable blessing from my mother who read vociferously, which seemingly naturally became one of my favorite lifelong pastimes. I love the mental escape to adventure, fantasy, and possibilities. As a child, Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels was one of my most memorable reads as he opened my eyes to mystery, intrigue, and new lands. Like most children, I had a lot of innocence, which protected me from the realities of comprehending the analysis of power, domination, and colonization in this renowned literature. I never lost that sense of curiosity and adventure as I quickly and emphatically said “yes” to the opportunity to be a part of our State Department’s Global Sports Mentoring Program (GSMP) in the fall of 2016. That marvelous experience led to my recent trip to Africa to visit and reconnect with Pamela Akplogan, my mentee.

Last fall, I was graciously invited by the GSMP’s administrative unit at the University of Tennessee, the Center for Sport, Peace, and Society, to travel to Benin for a formal rekindling of my relationship with Pamela. Although we had stayed in communication over the previous seven years, I was elated to reunite with her. Now an accomplished youth sports professional working in Paris, Pamela and met back in her home country. Our initial time together at the University of North Carolina was so significant to each of us. It was an opportunity to learn, listen, and share my perspective on her action plan for girls’ participation in sports in Benin. Over three weeks, we did just that and more! I introduced her to college American football by way of visits to NC A&T and UVA (vs. UNC) games, and Black and American cultures. Our time spent together was memorable in that we achieved programmatic goals including entrepreneurial visioning and business planning as expected by GSMP objectives. In addition, and quite delightfully, the intensity of our sharing space during meetings, walks, dining, and sports left us both feeling inspired and further committed to our empowerment work and trusted relationship.

The trip to Benin was not my first time on the continent of Africa. I was honored to be a guest with the National Basketball Association’s first World Africa Game in 2015. I still remember kissing the ground of this sacred land upon arrival as it was emotional for me to walk the soil of my ancestors. Although thousands of miles away from home, Johannesburg with its towering buildings, traffic, and numerous western-based stores, reminded me of most large cities here in the USA. So, my excitement to go to West Africa had a more powerful meaning because of its connection to the Middle Passage, limited resources, and development. And I was not disappointed. The beauty of the land and people only solidified my love and appreciation of the African spirit of determination and resilience. I was humbled to observe an incredible work ethic and happiness while noting the country’s economic challenges.

 

The following lessons that became clear to me were immediate and impactful:

First, We, as Americans, are very spoiled and take a lot for granted. From my vantage point I believe that regardless of one’s socioeconomic spectrum, Americans often complain, hoard, compete unnecessarily and overly, and find ways to “cut corners.” Yes, I do believe the explanation for most of our mental health problems and fear of one another is rooted in these unhealthy behaviors. I marveled at how Beninese people shared and demonstrated kindness in so many circumstances. While walking back to my hotel, I encountered a woman selling fruit. The heat in Benin is much more intense than North Carolina summer hotness, and I knew that her variety of items would quench my thirst and hunger. Since neither one of us understood each other’s respective languages, I began to ask any passersby to help us. Surely, I appeared overly animated — talking quickly and making hand gestures to try to convince someone, anyone of what I wanted from the seller. The Beninese woman smiled at me as she watched my gyrations and attempts to find an interpreter to complete the purchase. Eventually I felt defeated and decided to just give her $20 in U.S. currency for one small slice of watermelon. To my surprise she would not take the money. Unsure if she thought I wanted her entire basket of fruit, I then used facial expressions to try to help her to understand that I was willing to lose money if she would just give me the one item. She continued to beam as she shook her head in refusal of my generous my offer. I later reflected deeply on the attempted exchange as it really bothered me that she couldn’t realize the deal she had lost. It was days later that as I continued to witness kindness and collaboration from Beninese people that my own competitive nature had missed the mark. It was her lovely spirit to ensure that I was not going to be cheated that halted the transaction. This African queen was protecting me.

Being a conscious Black person in the USA is no doubt a journey of acceptance and boundaries. Learning to successfully navigate white supremacy and anti-Blackness means living a life with a racial equity lens on 24/7 to seek awareness and safety. Why was I treated this way? Who can I trust in this situation? Who will tell me the truth about my own actions or the actions of others who don’t have my best interests at heart? Where do I go (and with whom) to be held and comforted when the evil and injustices are overwhelming? So, to be in Benin with the recognition of my American privilege was a bit alarming and disturbing.

In 1975, the name of the country was changed from Republic of Dahomey to Benin. Although Benin was colonized by France, English is still the universal language across the globe. Sharing a border with Nigeria (colonized by the British Empire), the Beninese are influenced by their usage of the English language and culture too.

I am an American, a native of a superpower, with the knowledge and skill to travel to Benin to explore. Although never in full sight as I traversed the city and countryside, my government and its military had my back. Privilege, indeed. Knowing that my passport gave me security, relief, and a reassurance that whatever could happen – I would be okay was gratifying and puzzling. Strangely, even walking by our USA Embassy made me feel good. I somehow felt that I now had power. That is, our country’s ability to manipulate and control other communities and nations was real. Thus, as a citizen regardless of my minoritized status back home, I also hold (coveted or not) this dominion and respect. During those times, I clearly was not thinking about Black Lives Matter, book banning, or structural racism at home. I guess all my history education was coming alive and in color.

Second, colonization, imperialism, and enslavement have many Black folks confused. I was disappointed to see so many Beninese women influenced by western culture. The damage of having more than one million people taken as slaves undoubtedly leaves a country brutalized and traumatized. The distress manifests in many ways. The straight hair wigs and cartoonish eyelash extensions made me shake my head in displeasure. When I did see sisters wearing their native garments and rocking braids or short Afros, I felt satisfaction that not everyone was being indoctrinated to a western definition of beauty. It was nice to see billboards with gigantic photos of attractive dark-skinned Africans. It wasn’t the typical USA marketing tactic of one Black, one Asian, one Latino, and a few White people in a photo either. At home, I continue to be inspired by the many Black Americans who embrace their African roots by wearing natural hairstyles and African style clothing. Colorful and bold. We don’t have to turn our backs on our heritage to assimilate or get ahead. Africans being westernized and African Americans being Africanized. Now that’s a thought.

Third, low income doesn’t mean low self-esteem. Due to socialization, we often see people who are impoverished as those who don’t value cleanliness, organization, time, or work ethic. The strategic marketing and propaganda that ties criminality to all people of color is global. Despite limited resources, I observed many Beninese sweeping front yards and business storefronts of leaves and litter that comprised of only a dirt surface. Children are required to wear uniforms to school. I inquired about the number of uniforms each child receives each year. I was told one. In the more populated locales such as Cotonou and Porto Novo, the capitol, I saw cities that never slept. I was reminded of urban New York with so many people up at dawn and awake after midnight. Hundreds of motorbikes at most intersections traversing the highways, dirt roads, and paths in the bush. Most people do want the finer things in life, but they also have dignity and treasure that which they do have. So, cleaning the front entrance, doing laundry each day, and learning multiple languages with the chance that one may never even encounter a native of that tongue was inspiring. I was extremely moved by a small child who bid me farewell after visiting her family’s store and not finding ice cream. As I walked away heading for another store, she cleared her throat and boldly called out to me, “Thank you for your visit. Have a good day.” Her mastery of English at such a young age surely made her happy as I shared a big smile in affirmation and said, “Thank you!” I looked for her the next two days to hopefully ­­continue our conversation. Sadly, we never reconnected again; truly it was my loss. Beninese sharing what they do have is a blessing to behold.

I am ever grateful to the State Department for the opportunity to represent our country and to plant a seed for humanity and cooperation. I did not take my role and visit lightly. I don’t think many Beninese ever see or meet American Black professional women in their country; their stares told me so. Despite the many challenges we have in the USA, it is important to give thanks for the actions and activities that our government does offer to help “right the wrongs” and to learn and share with others. My special time with Pamela and the lessons of my visit were too numerous to mention in detail. I strongly recommend a visit to Benin to learn about its people and the rich history. Please visit the nearly 100 foot bronze statue representing the Amazon woman warrior and Ganvie, the village where homes were built on stilts in the water to avoid enslavement. The physical strength and resilience of Africans is very evident as I watched children and seniors row boats by themselves for hours in the high heat headed home or to the market. And one should not miss a trip to Abomey, home of the royal palaces of Kings Galileo and Gexoa, where the women warriors featured in the popular movie, “The Woman King” lived and trained. I entered Benin as a foreigner and left as Mahoussi Zêkponssi, as I was renamed by a village chief.

Being Black and American in Benin furthered my own examination of the precious values of justice and joy that I strive to embody. I know we all seek visibility and belonging. Feeling appreciated and having a sense of community is human nature. I was blessed to have received those sentiments from Pamela, her family, and the Beninese. Africa is not a big adventure to escape away to or even a continent that is far away anymore. In fact, she lives in my heart.

“Never Too Far” contains perspectives and insights from an inquisitive and engaged Orange County transplant from Philly. Deborah Stroman is an entrepreneur and UNC leadership professor who has seen too much and not enough, and thus continues to question and explore the thoughts and actions of humankind.

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