Former UNC basketball great Eric Montross, who had worked tirelessly and passionately through his foundation to raise money for cancer research, died of cancer on Sunday, December 17.
Even the Duke Basketball Report claimed that Montross was “universally respected” and made reference to his friendship with Jason Clark, a teenage cancer patient who he met while playing for UNC. He began the Eric Montross Basketball Camp in order to raise funds for the Jason Clark Teen Lounge and Game Room, among many other projects. How could someone so kind and good die so young? Why?
His younger sister, Christine, is a writer and psychiatrist. Her 2014 book, “Falling Into the Fire: A Psychiatrist’s Encounters with the Mind in Crisis,” describes stopping the car with her wife and their two young children to observe a murmuration of starlings in flight. The kids want to know: How does the flock turn? Who leads? The children insist, “But why, Mama? Why?”
The questions are childlike in their curiosity. “Why” can also be anxious, even haunting. For some, “why” brings God or gods into the picture. “Why” can cause us to drop our arms to our sides or lay our heads in our hands.
I don’t know how hundreds of starlings fly together. But the sight of them takes my breath away. And while I don’t know why people, including children, die from cancer, I am amazed by the whirls and swoops of people’s lives and how they offer grace under duress. Eric Montross knew that from his young friend, Jason Clark. That’s why Montross called him a true hero.
I also know how grief can dance with humor, which is hard to explain. It’s a contradiction in terms, like how “Big Grits” was also known as a gentle giant. When visiting sick kids, the seven-foot Montross would often tell them that he was actually six feet, twelve inches! Perspective matters, and if you can offer a smile, perhaps a little light, then something like what his beloved family said of Eric Montross after his death will also be true of you: “The ripples from the generous, thoughtful way that he lived his life will continue in the lives of many people.” Those “ripples” are like the murmuration of starlings — unexplainably wonderous.
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the author of “Little Big Moments,” a collection of mini-essays about parenting, and “Tigers, Mice & Strawberries: Poems.” Both titles are available most anywhere books are sold online. Taylor-Troutman lives in Chapel Hill where he serves as pastor of Chapel in the Pines Presbyterian Church and occasionally stumbles upon the wondrous while in search of his next cup of coffee.
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