My family and I shared a potluck dinner at church with my friend from Afghanistan. Attempting to engage his two young children, I asked, “What’s your favorite animal?” Both the son and daughter answered, “Cats!” I was not surprised, for their dad had told me of his plans to purchase a cat for each of them. He also shares with me his other dreams.
In Afghanistan, he earned a college degree and became a translator for the U.S. Army. He speaks five languages. After the Taliban took over, he hid with his family for a year before finally leaving on a flight out of the country. In America, he has only been able to find work in laundry services, but he wants to return to college. “I will be a Tar Heel!”
He sends money every month back to his family. “My father is seventy years old, and he has known war his whole life.” His usual smile dropped as he spoke, and my friend rubbed his temples. “We are so tired of war. But what can we do? We pray for peace. ‘Even in the middle of the night, God is kind.’” I’d heard him repeat that proverb before.
My friend already knew the names of my children, but at this dinner, he learned that they wanted a lizard, specifically a bearded dragon. I have resisted this idea, much to their frustration, but now they have a new ally. In my defense, I told my friend that we already have a dog. He grinned mischievously: “Do you not say, ‘The more the merrier’?!”
I met my friend through the incredible work of Church World Service. The amazing employees in the Durham office have assisted 628 refugees between 2023 and 2024 but have suffered egregious funding cuts from our federal government. At CWS, they say that every single person has gifts and skills to help. There are many ways to be kind, even in the proverbial dark night of suffering and need.
As we enjoyed firni, an Afghani custard-like dessert, my friend told the story of how he met his wife. He saw her from across the room at a wedding. “One look at her, and I knew in my heart,” he said, patting his chest. His wife is learning English, but she understood. “Me too!” She chuckled, and we all laughed, sharing a moment in which we lacked nothing.
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the author of the book with Wipf and Stock Publishers titled This Is the Day: A Year of Observing Unofficial Holidays about Ampersands, Bobbleheads, Buttons, Cousins, Hairball Awareness, Humbugs, Serendipity, Star Wars, Teenagers, Tenderness, Walking to School, Yo-Yos, and More. He lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina where he is a student of joy.
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