This is a parenting page, about parenting Page. I am a child psychologist and a mother. So I specialize in children, yet I am human, thus I am full of knowledge and yet as full of emotions as any other parent. I decided to write this Parenting Page since it might be informative and funny for others to take an insider look at a child specialist raising her child. I also wanted to create a way to show Page when she grows up, if she chooses to have children, a real-life view of the experience. I hope you enjoy these stories and musings.

 

In Part I: Infancy, I shared the stress my husband and I experienced, as many parents do, with getting an infant to learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on her own. Which was as much about getting ourselves as the parents to self-soothe and allow her to learn that skill! Us parents… we get in our own way sometimes with all those love and concern emotions flooding us!

All was quiet on the sleep front until the next big transition, which was using a bed versus a crib. I have to say I was underprepared for how difficult this would be. She had been going to sleep and staying asleep so easily for so long in her crib, I was not anticipating mayhem at introducing a bed.

Our daughter’s crib was one that transitioned to a toddler bed, so for the switch to a bed we just took off the side, lowered the mattress, and she had the same wonderful bed she always had. Well, except she could get in and out as she wanted. This much freedom was far too intriguing for her to just stay in her bed! Interestingly, she did not venture out of her room even though the door was unlocked; I don’t think she quite understood she could open the door. But we could see her on the baby monitor up in the dark, rummaging around. We tried putting her back in bed. She would get up again. Had we had more children at some point we probably would not have been particularly distressed by a child up and about in her room since she was not coming out or bothering us. But such is the plight of the only-child-parent, i.e., as exhausted as we think we are by raising a child, we still have more energy than parents of multiple kids.  So on we went, night after night up until the wee hours trying to get her to stay in her bed. Until finally we truly were exhausted after too many nights at this, and sleep-deprived temporary insanity set in.

At 10pm, after two hours of trying to get Page to bed, I decided maybe what she needed was something more fantastical about her bed to make her stay in it. (To those without children, FYI 10pm after a day of work and childcare is like 2am to your no-children lifestyle. We were very tired.) Grasping at straws as to how to make her bed wonderful, I announced to my husband we needed to move the queen sized bed from the guest room into Page’s room. Clearly that would seem huge to her after being in such a small bed for all her life, and she would be intrigued and stay in bed. Peter wasn’t sure at first, but I explained really it was best for us too, because if Page had a queen bed in her room, when we had multiple guests in town for holidays that would create an instant extra guest bedroom for adults. He agreed with that logic, and then I insisted we had to set that up right that moment. Why wait?! Dragging a big mattress between rooms is not an easy chore, and us moving the beds around while we were totally exhausted was a comedy routine… which Page stood aside and watched in awe. She certainly didn’t know what was going on and must have thought we had lost our minds. Once the bed was in place we made a big deal about how she now had such a big bed to sleep in, and we put her to bed.

Who ever said nothing good ever came of madness, or that insanity can’t breed effective ideas?! Page stayed in her bed that night, and thereafter. No more popping out of bed! Either my idea was brilliant, or Page understood on some level that we just couldn’t take it anymore and took pity on us.

Dr. Tina Lepage is the owner of Lepage Associates Solution-Based Psychological & Psychiatric Services, a group practice with offices in S. Durham/RTP, Raleigh, and Chapel Hill. She lives in Chapel Hill with her husband, daughter, and two dogs. www.lepageassociates.com. You can find her on Twitter at @LepageAssoc or at Facebook.com/LepageAssociates.