I spent part of last evening in a room overflowing with good will.  It was in a Chapel Hill home and the wine was flowing, the food and conversation excellent but what made it truly grand for me was the aforementioned good will.

Why is the conviviality so notable?  One would think amid the wine and the conversation, of course it would be pleasant.  It’s notable because the evening was about politics and lately, in this country, a lot of politics is venomous.

The home of John Sweet and Greg Fitch was teeming with people united in their desire to defeat the May 8 ballot question of whether the North Carolina constitution should “provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State”.  

I don’t think the attendees’ shared opinion of Amendment One is the only explanation for the cheerful ambiance; I credit the underlying message: Those opposed to the amendment are not trying to take away anyone’s rights, nor fault how anyone lives.  It is much easier to be affable when not being judgmental. 

Same sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina.  Even if you agree with that, I questioned in a previous column why anyone would also need a constitutional amendment or to spend public money getting it on a ballot.  But the May 8th vote is about much more than same sex marriage.

It is also about business and therefore jobs (which of course makes this topic eligible for a column on spending!).  Top talent doesn’t exist in any one population.  Is North Carolina willing to be less than welcoming to businesses that want to bring or attract the best and brightest no matter their orientation?  Will extraordinary employees flee if they can no longer receive benefits for their partners nor their children?  What about the children of those who stay?  Do they deserve the same rights and care as the children of their mom or dad’s colleagues?  

The text of the ballot question also tosses out the rights of unmarried straight couples: “….marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid…” [italics are mine]. Do we really want our constitution to decide if our adult, consensual relationships are legal?

A recent Associated Press story told of how North Carolina stands alone in the South, surrounded by states that have already changed their constitutions to codify a ban on same sex marriage.  The reporter points out the civil rights arguments being used now by Amendment One opponents hark back to a time when much of the violence bypassed North Carolina.  Last night former UNC Chancellor James Moeser urged us to once again differentiate our state from South Carolina and to vote no on May 8th.  

Let us all find ourselves soon in a convivial gathering across our state, coming together on Election Day to decide that North Carolina should once again stand alone in the region in its tolerance and care for all human beings.

Please feel free to comment below or to write to me at Donnabeth@Chapelboro.com.  As I wrote the last time I tackled this subject: It’s an emotionally charged issue so I ask that all notes and comments be courteous.  Disagree and I’m happy to read it but any vitriol will be disregarded.  

Related Stories
‹
Let's Save Marriage
Many proponents of Amendment One on Tuesday’s ballot see it as a way to support traditional marriage.  I’m wondering why all their efforts are focusing on how to prevent certain marriages (same sex, which are already against the law, btw), how to invalidate other stable, long-term relationships (non-married heterosexual couples), and how to undermine the […]
Closing Arguments Against Amendment One
When it comes to public life, there is a concept I learned from great North Carolinians such as the late Terry Sanford and former Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Dickson Phillips, as well as from my parents: being right when it matters.  Because members of the General Assembly failed the test of being right […]
On the Porch: Nora Gaskin - Conjuring Crime Stories
This Week: Author Nora Gaskin is a lifelong resident of the Durham-Chapel Hill area. Her latest is novel is "Lammie Loves Cubby". Nora has a bachelor’s degree in English with Honors in Creative Writing from UNC, and a Masters in English from the University of Washington in Seattle. She spent over 24 years as a stockbroker and financial advisor in the Durham office of a major investment firm. She retired in 2005 to focus on writing. She is the publisher at Lystra Books and Literary Services and the author of three novels and one nonfiction book. She lives and writes in Chatham County, inspired by her native landscape, her husband, and dogs. Her favorite word is "gratitude."
Therapy Smarts and Sen. Natalie Murdock on How HB696 Impacts Children and Families — On Air Today (June 15, 2026)
Founder and CEO of Therapy Smarts Avani Shah and N.C. District 20 Sen. Natalie Murdock speak with 97.9 The Hill on Monday, June 15.
On the Porch: Steven Fenberg - What Funded America's Infrastructure?
This Week: Writer Steven Fenberg discovered Jesse Jones was reputedly the most powerful person in the nation next to President Franklin Roosevelt during the Great Depression and World War II. As chairman of the federal government’s Reconstruction Finance Corporation (RFC)—the nation’s indispensable infrastructure bank—Jones initiated and managed massive New Deal agencies that saved and expanded the nation’s economy and then shifted the RFC’s priority from domestic economics to global defense to fight and win WWII. Fenberg told this remarkable story as executive producer and co-writer of the Emmy Award winning documentary film “Brother, Can You Spare a Billion?” that was narrated by Walter Cronkite and broadcast nationally on PBS. Fenberg then wrote the biography “Unprecedented Power: Jesse Jones, Capitalism, and the Common Good.”
Viewpoints: Constitutional Changes Are Rarely Necessary
Constitutional amendments are supposed to be rare. They are supposed to matter. They are meant to alter foundational principles or governmental structure when absolutely necessary. 
On the Porch: Terri Mitchell - Mentoring Women in Tech
This Week: Terri Mitchell is the founder of Accelerate Success, a program to help women develop the confidence, skills, and networks needed to thrive in STEM careers. She is a former IBM executive with more than 30 years of experience in the technology industry. Starting as a graduate of Le Moyne College with a degree in Computer Science, she held leadership roles across hardware, software, and systems businesses, culminating in her role as Vice President and IBM Integration Executive. Following her retirement from IBM in 2018, Terri became a founding member of Triangle Women in STEM and began the Accelerate Success program.
On the Porch: Carl Nordgren - Creativity Can Unite US
This Week: Carl Nordgren is a best-selling novelist, a teacher, and an imaginal cell. After 25 years as an entrepreneur, he taught Creativity at Duke for 14 years. He’s a two-time TEDx speaker and hosts the weekly radio show ‘Exploring your Creative Genius’ on 97.9 The Hill. His calling is to help each of us and all of us grow our creative capacities and develop our entrepreneurial instincts and behaviors, a calling that informed his book "Becoming a Creative Genius (again)". His new book, "Common Ground for US" continues that work and offers new perspectives on governance and policy making for political and community leaders. You can attend his book launch event at Golden Fig Books in Carrboro on June 4, by clicking the show title above.
On the Porch: Tiffany Muller - End Citizens United
This Week: Tiffany Muller is the President of End Citizens United. She has helped grow the group into a nationwide organization with more than 4 million members and 1 million grassroots donors. Before leading End Citizens United, Tiffany was Deputy Political Director at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, where she worked with top Senate races. She also served as chief of staff to two members of Congress, ran a political research firm, and was Vice President of Political Operations at the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund. As a member of the Topeka City Council, she led successful efforts to expand anti-discrimination protections. 
Anderson Clayton on N.C. Democratic Party's General Election Preparation — On Air Today (May 20, 2026)
Chair of the North Carolina Democratic Party Anderson Clayton joins 97.9 The Hill News Director Brighton McConnell on Wednesday, May 20.
›