I sit here at my desk, trying to focus on typing an intelligent and witty column. Instead, I find myself distracted every few minutes by the little movements and noises of Poppy, the adorable 3-pound wonder fast asleep on my lap. I ponder, as I often do, how it is that I got myself into this particular situation.It’s not like I needed another creature in the house. I currently reign over seven cats, a rat, five chickens, a bunny rabbit, a Miniature Schnauzer, four children and a husband (note how I subtly confirmed my alpha dog status in the household). I think I’ve more than done my part to assure that my children will know the joys of pet ownership while at the same time rescuing a good number of animals from cold, hungry and homeless status. The last thing I needed was another dog.
No one can deny how successful I’ve been over the past year with resisting my children’s incessant pleas for more pets. In fact, the only new pets acquired over the past year were Rocky and Bunnicula and arguably, they don’t really count because their assimilation into our household wasn’t my doing. Rocky, a scrawny and very naughty stray cat showed up out of nowhere one day and refused to leave, and Bunnicula was only supposed to be at our house for two weeks. Was it my fault that Rocky is stubborn and Bunnicula’s owner skipped town, never to be heard from again? I think not.
That’s a pretty good track record for me. Over the past 12 months, I’ve resisted heartfelt, dramatic requests for a parrot, gerbils, more cats, hamsters, a ferret, a guinea pig, some kittens, a wombat (as if!), a penguin, a snake and, most recently, a Border Collie and sheep. See, I can stand my ground when I need to. No more pets!
When my trainer’s dog had puppies back in December I was interested, of course, but my interest was that of a detached observer. An observer who loves animals perhaps, but an observer nonetheless. I loved hearing stories of the latest puppy shenanigans at my weekly strength training sessions and of course, I enjoyed looking at the pictures. But it never once occurred to me that I might offer one of the puppies a home. Well . . . maybe it did occur to me once or twice. But those moments quickly passed.
One day, Trainer Rob had the puppies in the break room and suggested I go and take a peek. Well, who wouldn’t love to visit with a bunch of cute puppies and their momma? Lots of people play with puppies every day. That doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to take a puppy home. No harm in one little visit. Ahh, the slippery slope of rationalization.
The puppies began making regular appearances at the gym and so I began enjoying regular visits with the puppies. They were all cute — little Aussie/Jack mixes; all brown except for one. A little black and tan female. That one was my favorite. Not that I was going to keep her, of course. But still, I can have a favorite.
One day the kids joined me at the gym and after my session and their stint in the child care room, I let them in on the little puppy secret in the break room. The proverbial nail in the coffin.
Not another day went by that the kids didn’t beg and plead for one of Rob’s puppies. Natalie even swore she would never again ask for a Border Collie. If only I would let them have one of Rob’s puppies.
I gave them my usual schpeel: “A puppy is a ton of work and you kids can’t even put your clothes in the hamper. We already have a dog. There’s no way we’re letting another animal live in this house. I don’t have time to train a dog. Having a puppy is like having an infant. You kids can’t take care of an infant. You can’t even take care of yourselves. Forget it, kids. No dog. No more other pets either.”
I said those words over and over and over again. And over and over and over again, the kids ignored me and kept begging and pleading, wearing me down little by little. Still, I repeated my mantra. But my heart just wasn’t in it.
The thing is, the puppies were really cute. REALLY CUTE. Plus, Pretzel loves other dogs and would probably really do well with a friend, especially a friend of his species. The cats would probably enjoy a puppy too. Look how much they love Pretzel! The kids are at the age that they could really help out. Six people sharing the responsibility of housetraining wouldn’t be so bad. I also wouldn’t have to keep hearing Natalie beg for a Border Collie. And sheep. (The written contract I made her sign to that effect is virtually airtight.) True, it’s not like we need another dog, but really, one more animal is not going to make much of a difference. Right?
So the kids begged, and I rationalized. Inevitably . . . I caved.
We picked her up last Tuesday. She confidently strode into the house, fearlessly made her presence known to Pretzel and the seven cats, and then promptly began to search for fun things to play with. At three pounds, she’s not much bigger than the rat. Like Pretzel, she follows me wherever I go, so now I have two shadows. She messes up the papers near my desk in an effort to create a more comfortable sleeping spot than the nice dog bed I bought her. She’s bitten more than one stack of legal documents. She sounds like a dying alien when I put her in her crate at night and I’m anticipating that the Humane Society will soon show up at my doorstep requesting proof that I am not into dog torture.
But as I sit here typing my column with this cute little black and tan three-pound wonder passed out on my lap, I’m finding it hard to imagine life without her.
