Pulling up to the intersection outside the elementary school, I saw a burly dude with tattoos up and down both arms and legs hoist a gaudy unicorn backpack over his shoulder. I mean “gaudy” as in sparkling rainbow sequins! The guy’s daughter in her Elsa dress stared up at him with such gratitude. When the traffic light changed, I carried the image with me until I had parked and was able to write it down.
This year, I’m practicing a variation on my usual gratitude journal that I call “a catalog of tenderness.” That dad was so tender with his daughter. A few other entries from the past couple of days:
- Tender the way the young dad in the park kicked the soccer ball so that his child could trap it.
- Tender the way another kid placed wild flowers in his mom’s hair. And tender the way she sat motionless in the grass, legs crisscrossed, back perfectly straight.
- Tender the way a grown son guided his elderly father by the elbow through an opened door, and — more double tenderness! — the way the older man allowed his son to lead.
- Tender the way yet another grown child closed her hand over her mother’s hand reaching for the bill, as if to say, “Let me get this.”
- Tender the way a fellow dad texts me as Buddy (Thanks, Greg.)
- Tender the way the woman in the souped-up truck with enormous tires drove with a Jack Russell terrier in her lap, the little dog’s head sticking out the window, tongue flapping.
Today, I met a dude who I’m friendly with outside a coffeeshop. I asked how he was doing, and he replied, “Groovy.” We got into a discussion about this current issue that, although controversial, I had assumed we agreed.
“I see things differently,” he said softly, “But I’m glad we still look each other in the eyes.”
Though the situations were all as unique as the people themselves, the gift of tenderness causes a similar twinkle in the eyes of the giver. As I’m re-reading my catalog, I get a little misty-eyed.
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the author of “Little Big Moments,” a collection of mini-essays about parenting, and “Tigers, Mice & Strawberries: Poems.” Both titles are available most anywhere books are sold online. Taylor-Troutman lives in Chapel Hill where he serves as pastor of Chapel in the Pines Presbyterian Church and occasionally stumbles upon the wondrous while in search of his next cup of coffee.
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