For many students, school’s out for summer. For parents and caregivers, now the test begins — family summer vacation! Whether you and your cherubs travel to salty seas or mountain peaks, to Disney or abroad, I have a few questions for you …
But instead of right or wrong answers, pick from the following: Always, Often, Occasionally, or Never. Or just keep reading! No grades and no stress! Let’s have some fun. Pencils ready? Begin!
Answer with Always, Often, Occasionally or Never … or just keep reading!
- Time Management
- I start every summer vacation with a clearly marked daily schedule.
- I abandon the daily schedule shortly after my kids eat spoonfuls of sugar for breakfast.
- Pyrotechnics
- I watch Fourth of July fireworks with my family.
- My children provide enough explosions on a regular night, thank you very much!
- Sleep Hygiene
- I give my children melatonin to get them to sleep in a hotel room.
- I take my children’s melatonin to get myself to sleep in a hotel room.
- Event Planning
- I am devoted to taking photographs of my family during the Golden Hour before sunset on the beach.
- I am devoted to taking a cocktail for myself for the Happy Hour before sunset on the beach.
- Making Magic Happen
- I once lost track of a child at Disney World by accident.
- I considered leaving a child at Disney World on purpose.
- Strategy
- After reminding my small-bladder children a half-a-dozen times to take a “tactical wee” (thank you, Bluey) before getting into the car, I realize after only 20 miles down the road that I neglected to practice what I preach.
- Poetry in Motion
- It seems to me that the poet who recommended “living the questions” never had to negotiate a dinner in a restaurant with a tired, sunburned four-year-old.
- The Treasury
- I budget precisely and exactly for a family vacation.
- It seems to me that the poet who recommended “living the questions” was actually referring to a budget for a family vacation.
- Light-Up Rectangles
- I allow my children to have extra screen time on long car trips.
- I freaking require my children to have extra screen time on long car trips.
- Travel Savvy
- I like to collect mementos from different vacation spots, such as:
- T-shirts
- Shot glasses
- Hospital bracelets
- After a family summer vacation, I require a personal vacation to somewhere dark, quiet and air-conditioned (like a bedroom closet).
- I like to collect mementos from different vacation spots, such as:
- Fitness Center(s)
- I eat dessert first on vacation.
- I exercise regularly on vacation by applying sunscreen to my squalling toddler several times a day.
- Culture Club
- While on vacation, I make a point to take my children to culturally enriching places, like:
- Museums
- National parks
- Micro-breweries
- It Takes a Village
- I have friends and fellow parents who come with their kids on vacation with my family.
- I have lost friends and fellow parents after they had taken their kids on vacation with my family.
- I now parent a child who was conceived on a vacation.
- I now believe that a family vacation is the most effective form of birth control.
- Grand Finale
- There are moments during every family summer vacation when I see the absolute joy on the faces of my loved ones and my heart damn near bursts in my chest like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
- There are moments during every family summer vacation when I calculate the exact number of hours before my kids finally go back to school.
- While on vacation, I make a point to take my children to culturally enriching places, like:
BONUS: Name the poet who recommended “living the questions” or, heck, just name ANY poet. You deserve extra credit!
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the author of “Little Big Moments,” a collection of mini-essays about parenting, and “Tigers, Mice & Strawberries: Poems.” Both titles are available most anywhere books are sold online. Taylor-Troutman lives in Chapel Hill where he serves as pastor of Chapel in the Pines Presbyterian Church and occasionally stumbles upon the wondrous while in search of his next cup of coffee.
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