Introducing Chapelboro’s pessimistic pussycat! Can’t choose what color to paint your house? Or what to get your wife for her birthday? Just need some life advice? Write in to Sourpuss to hear his thoughts. Fair warning, he’s not a spoonfull-of-sugar kind of kitty. (Sorry in advance.)

Comment your questions or send us a message to see what Sourpuss might have to say, and keep up with all of the new pet-friendly content on the Bark Report, only on Chapelboro.com!


 

Birthdays. Everybody’s got one. By the nature of being alive, everyone and everything has a day they/it were created, a day they were born.

You’d think, since this is one of the few common traits and events we literally all share and understand, that all your questions about birthdays and the celebration thereof would have been answered over the course of the time you’ve already spent being alive. You would be incorrect, if my inbox is to be believed.

So, this month, let’s try our best to address some of the concerns you might have over getting older, helping other people get older, and whatever else you’re confused about when it comes to the process of growing older but not necessarily wiser.

One of my friends has a birthday next week and is insisting we all go out to bars to celebrate but I don’t think it’s a good idea. How can I encourage them to stay home to celebrate and what can I do to try and experience the same 20s bday celebrations?

Obviously, given the current situation we’ve all been in for a literal year at this point, going out to bars and such to celebrate isn’t exactly the most prudent of decisions. Now, it may not look it at times, but cats are social animals — and I’d like to share with you my own personal method for determining just how “worth it” something would be.

First off, what’s the goal? Every pursuit has an objective, and in this case, the objective is to celebrate another year of life through conversation and consumption of alcoholic drinks. Potentially with some high-calorie treats in the mix. Second, ask yourself, what is the most efficient way to accomplish this goal? While bars and public venues have their charms — especially if there’s an event of some sort taking place, Sourpuss is a sucker for a concert — currently, you won’t find much in the way of exclusive functions. So, in this case, the experience of drinking+hanging out functions no differently than it would against many other backdrops. This leads us to the third piece: what does each option provide that another doesn’t? In this case, staying out of a bar provides peace of mind, and safety both relative and actual.

To conclude, getting a little creative is a necessary skill to enjoy existence at the best of times. Currently, it’s an absolute requirement to keep sane. I’m not saying a video call is the solution to every problem, but there’s more ways to get intoxicated, swap stories and crack jokes than cramming into the nearest enclosed space.

Now that I’m older, my birthday doesn’t feel as exciting as it used to. Any advice for how to make my birthday feel special again?

As the birthdays keep coming, it’s only natural that each feels slightly less special than the last. The first grilled cheese you ever ate struggles to be matched by each successive sandwich, because novelty takes precedence over nostalgia more often than not. To keep things special, to keep them fresh, it’s important to seek out new experiences. I can’t guarantee you’ll be special, but I can promise you’ll feel like it.

I have a $20 limit agreement with my best friend for birthday presents. Any inexpensive but creative ideas on what I could do?

A $20 limit? Hardly a “best” friend. Sounds more like a casual acquaintance, to me. Then again, a gift doesn’t necessarily have to be pricey to be good. Some of the best things in life are free, but a lot more of them will cost you. For $20, I’d suggest a shoebox filled with $20 worth of chewing gum, just to really show how far a well-planned budget can stretch. Then again, I’ve heard there’s a certain something you could do to celebrate properly for free

My birthday is coming up in the next week and I’m hoping to do a Zoom gathering with some friends. The problem is…we’ve been doing a Zoom gathering every-other week or so. Do you have any tips for what I can do as a host to make it feel different than our other Zoom chats?

Digital Zoom backgrounds decorated for special occasions? Passé. If you really want to go in on something special, decorate multiple rooms and change your location every now and then without warning. Also, kick anyone who starts to sing “happy birthday.” Take it from me: on a video call, it doesn’t end well.

Your search for the perfect birthday gift ends now. Gift your loved one with a live shout-out on This Morning with Aaron Keck, along with a song that will set their birthday off right! Tune in at 6:50am on the big day after making your dedication to hear your message and song play live on the air!

 


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