Introducing Chapelboro’s pessimistic pussycat! Can’t choose what color to paint your house? Or what to get your wife for her birthday? Just need some life advice? Write in to Sourpuss to hear his thoughts. Fair warning, he’s not a spoon-full-of-sugar kind of kitty. (Sorry in advance.)

Comment your questions or send us a message to see what Sourpuss might have to say, and keep up with all of the new pet-friendly content on the Bark Report, only on Chapelboro.com!

Here we back, back again, with me being forced to leave the comfort of my heated blanket and you needing me to solve all your problems for you. But, as much as you insist on tearing me away from the things I love most, I’m still willing to help. If only to get you to leave me alone and let me get back to the warm sleeping spot I worked so hard to create. So let’s talk about three more questions and concerns that have been mailed to me — it’d be rude to turn away such helpless, hapless folks this close to the holidays.

[REDACTED]: My partner is a big supporter of leaving holiday decorations up until well into the New Year. I think they should come down on the 26th. Where do you stand on this, Sourpuss?”

There’s no sense living in the past for any significant period of time, but it’s also worth noting that only someone with literally nothing better to do would be gung-ho about cleaning a house and packing things away the literal day after a major holiday. You’re both incorrect, I’m afraid, because the real answer to “when should I take my decorations down” is always the Saturday after the event or celebration in question.

[REDACTED]: Sourpuss, my cat won’t stop knocking ornaments off our tree. How do I get him to stop?

Clearly, your cat strongly objects to some of the decorative choices you’ve made when putting up your tree. You should consult with him, at the very least. It sounds like you two have some pressing matters to discuss — namely, the decisions you’re making when it comes to the décor.

[REDACTED]: How do I tell my aunt the green bean casserole that she brings to every holiday get-together is horrible?

Usually, my preferred tack would be to eat the food in question and then throw it up in the most inconvenient place I can manage. Keeping in mind that you’re unlikely to take such a strong stance, I’d suggest that you either a) put this horrible casserole directly in the trash without saying anything at all, promptly returning the empty dish afterward or b) ask your aunt if she “brought anything good” until she gets the point.

 

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