I spent part of last evening in a room overflowing with good will.  It was in a Chapel Hill home and the wine was flowing, the food and conversation excellent but what made it truly grand for me was the aforementioned good will.

Why is the conviviality so notable?  One would think amid the wine and the conversation, of course it would be pleasant.  It’s notable because the evening was about politics and lately, in this country, a lot of politics is venomous.

The home of John Sweet and Greg Fitch was teeming with people united in their desire to defeat the May 8 ballot question of whether the North Carolina constitution should “provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State”.  

I don’t think the attendees’ shared opinion of Amendment One is the only explanation for the cheerful ambiance; I credit the underlying message: Those opposed to the amendment are not trying to take away anyone’s rights, nor fault how anyone lives.  It is much easier to be affable when not being judgmental. 

Same sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina.  Even if you agree with that, I questioned in a previous column why anyone would also need a constitutional amendment or to spend public money getting it on a ballot.  But the May 8th vote is about much more than same sex marriage.

It is also about business and therefore jobs (which of course makes this topic eligible for a column on spending!).  Top talent doesn’t exist in any one population.  Is North Carolina willing to be less than welcoming to businesses that want to bring or attract the best and brightest no matter their orientation?  Will extraordinary employees flee if they can no longer receive benefits for their partners nor their children?  What about the children of those who stay?  Do they deserve the same rights and care as the children of their mom or dad’s colleagues?  

The text of the ballot question also tosses out the rights of unmarried straight couples: “….marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid…” [italics are mine]. Do we really want our constitution to decide if our adult, consensual relationships are legal?

A recent Associated Press story told of how North Carolina stands alone in the South, surrounded by states that have already changed their constitutions to codify a ban on same sex marriage.  The reporter points out the civil rights arguments being used now by Amendment One opponents hark back to a time when much of the violence bypassed North Carolina.  Last night former UNC Chancellor James Moeser urged us to once again differentiate our state from South Carolina and to vote no on May 8th.  

Let us all find ourselves soon in a convivial gathering across our state, coming together on Election Day to decide that North Carolina should once again stand alone in the region in its tolerance and care for all human beings.

Please feel free to comment below or to write to me at Donnabeth@Chapelboro.com.  As I wrote the last time I tackled this subject: It’s an emotionally charged issue so I ask that all notes and comments be courteous.  Disagree and I’m happy to read it but any vitriol will be disregarded.  

Related Stories
‹
Let's Save Marriage
Many proponents of Amendment One on Tuesday’s ballot see it as a way to support traditional marriage.  I’m wondering why all their efforts are focusing on how to prevent certain marriages (same sex, which are already against the law, btw), how to invalidate other stable, long-term relationships (non-married heterosexual couples), and how to undermine the […]
Closing Arguments Against Amendment One
When it comes to public life, there is a concept I learned from great North Carolinians such as the late Terry Sanford and former Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Dickson Phillips, as well as from my parents: being right when it matters.  Because members of the General Assembly failed the test of being right […]
'Worried For Our Future': Authors React to Removal Attempt of LGBTQ+ Books from CHCCS Elementary Libraries
North Carolina legislators are pushing to remove 63 LGBTQ-themed books from CHCCS elementary schools, saying they violate state law for being available in libraries.
On the Porch: Deana Joy - Child Abuse in NC
This Week: Deana Joy has spent her career working in the nonprofit sector with victims of crime. She began by working with victims of sexual violence then, in 2006, she was promoted to Executive Director of a local Children’s Advocacy and Sexual Assault Center. In 2014, Deana began working as the CEO of Children’s Advocacy Centers of North Carolina, the state chapter for Children’s Advocacy Centers (CACs). In 2017, Deana became a national accreditation site reviewer for National Children’s Alliance, the accrediting body of Children’s Advocacy Centers. Deana currently serves as the Chair of the Children’s Justice Act for the Governor's Crime Commission and is on the NC Human Trafficking Commission, the NCDHHS Safety Design Team, the central region Citizen Review Panel, and the statewide Mass Violence Committee.
Morinaga Celebrates Completed Mebane Expansion and 'Sweet Partnership' With North Carolina, Orange County
The Japanese candy company Morinaga held a ribbon-cutting ceremony Tuesday to celebrate the opening of its expansion Hi-Chew plant in Mebane.
North Carolina’s Electoral Future May Hinge on Rural Black Voters Who Feel Ignored by Democrats
Roughly 4 in 10 Black voters in North Carolina’s last presidential election said they live in small towns or rural communities.
North Carolina Supreme Court Throws Out Longtime Suit Over Education Funding
On Thursday, the North Carolina Supreme Court threw out longtime Leandro Case ruling and litigation over education funding in the state.
North Carolina’s Photo Voter ID Mandate Can Continue as a Judge Upholds the Law
North Carolina’s photo voter identification law was upheld on Thursday, as a federal judge set aside arguments by civil rights groups.
'Keeping People Safe': North Carolina's Office of Violence Prevention Reaches 3-Year Anniversary
North Carolina's Office of Violence Prevention recently surpassed its three-year anniversary, continuing to use public health approaches to address the issue of gun violence.
Democrat Roy Cooper Needs to Defy North Carolina History to Keep Winning Streak Alive in Senate Race
Written by GARY D. ROBERTSON and BILL BARROW RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — North Carolina does not mind electing Democrats as governor, but it is a different matter when it comes to sending them to the U.S. Senate. Roy Cooper, who led the state for two terms, is trying to change that with a campaign that could […]
›