Welcome back to “A Local Rose,” a weekly recap column of the 20th Season of The Bachelorette. We’ve almost made it to the end of Charity Lawson’s season, which means we get to enjoy everyone’s favorite awkward-extravaganza, the “Men Tell All.” This serves as a reunion for the show, where the men get to air out their grievances with one another and, if they have any, with Charity. Last night’s episode was somehow unbelievably cringey and also pretty boring at the same time. Let’s get into it.

There are a few segments I want to focus on that I think stood out as the most interesting of the episode. First and foremost, where was Warwick? Asleep in the dressing room? Didn’t want to face the music of his behavior, in case it was too relaxing? We deserved some answers for that guy, and I’m disappointed we didn’t get them.

The episode begins with everyone vs. Brayden. This is unsurprising and tiring at this point, so I won’t dwell on it too much, but Brayden seems to be trying to rewrite his history. At one point, when discussing why he came back after self-eliminating, Brayden says he didn’t want to take away from anyone’s time with Charity, only to share a moment later that he was trying to get her attention away from them. My favorite part of this whole segment is that at the height of the drama, we learn there wasn’t even a driver on the party bus when Aaron yelled for the driver to pull away. I only wish Aaron could’ve been there to look embarrassed.

Also, Brayden is confirmed to be on the next season of Bachelor in Paradise, so if that’s a show you watch – best of luck.

Moving onto the most shocking part of the whole episode – the attack on Pilot Pete 2.0! Bear with me here, but it turns out during a zoom call with the whole cast (sidenote to producers – RELEASE THE FOOTAGE!) For some reason, the night-one eliminated Peter was apparently targeted by the whole cast when they put “FP” in their zoom names during this call. This stands for exactly what you think it stands for. Additionally, several members of the cast added “FP” to the captions of their instagram posts for weeks. I went back and researched on Instagram so you don’t have to, and they’ve all since removed the “FP” from their pages. This extremely childish behavior and certified bullying, and the craziest admission of guilt came from Xavier who shared that he was mostly annoyed that Brayden was the one who told Peter about all of this.

Speaking of Xavier, he took up a fair amount of time during the Men Tell All, both on his own, and in seeking closure with Charity. His final date with her in Fiji was somehow harder to watch the second time, probably because we had to watch him watch himself. We learn that Xavier feels because he was so nervous about being honest with Charity, his words came out wrong, and he wasn’t trying to imply what we all think he was trying to imply. Admitting you sought therapy because you couldn’t confirm you wouldn’t cheat on your wife is…good, I guess?

I didn’t physically cringe until Xavier brought out the knitted rose for Charity, a woman who is so clearly done with him. I’m glad he had the opportunity to clear things up, but the whole arc still feels disappointing. Even if Xavier didn’t mean what he said, he waited entirely too long to come clean, and Charity basically confirms we could’ve had at least two more episodes of Tanner.

A couple quick things before I gush over Gerry, The perfectly bronzed, #girldad Golden Bachelor:

  • Charity looks unbelievable, and all these men should feel stupid that they’ve spent any time on this stage talking about anything other than the pain of losing her.
  • Brayden definitely didn’t deserve the grace that Charity continued to extend him, and I’m glad she told him that.
  • I don’t want to be dramatic, but Sean deciding he was going to rush the stage actually stirred up a little bit of vomit in the back of my throat. What an incredibly annoying end to an incredibly annoying run.
  • I was excited that Captain Tom from New Orleans was in the audience, but couldn’t believe my eyes or ears when he gave Sean a rose over Tanner.
  • Former Bachelorettes Trista Sutter, Desiree Siegfried, and DeAnna Pappas join Charity and Jesse on stage to reflect together. Honestly, I was too distracted by how good they look, and the fact that I own the same dress Trista was wearing to form any other thoughts. Sorry guys.

Gerry, the first ever Golden Bachelor is finally in the hot seat. If his intro video didn’t make you cry, have someone check you for a fever because – wow. What an absolute gift to the undeserving Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise this man already is. Gerry (pronounced Gary) married his high school sweetheart Toni, and after a beautiful life together, she passed away very suddenly, leaving Gerry, their two daughters, and two granddaughters behind.

I genuinely can’t wait to watch Gerry look for the next love of his life. I really appreciate the respect and consideration being shown for Toni, and I think it sets the tone for what we can expect from Gerry’s season.

With only one episode left, we will soon find out who Charity’s “person” is! Like I mentioned last week, I haven’t put a lot of eggs in the “Aaron B. has returned” basket, and I think Joey and Dotun are neck & neck in the race for Charity’s heart. Get the big bottle of wine though, because a whopping three-hour finale stands between us and finding out who wins.

See you next week!

Ali Evans is a three-decade Chapel Hill resident currently living in Mebane with her husband Brian, dogs Cameron & Macaroni, and cats Brooke & Dexter. Ali is a Marketing professional in Durham, and a reluctant reality TV expert. She currently serves as President of Leadership Chapel Hill-Carrboro through The Chamber For a Greater Chapel Hill Carrboro. Ali loves all things local – food, drinks, people and places and is a really big fan of trains. You can find Ali on twitter @helloalievans, or get in touch via email – helloalievans@gmail.com.

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