Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, I take out of storage my collection of Christmas books. During the weeks leading up to the big day, we read and reread the holiday classics.

It occurred to me the other day that not a single one of my books tells the story of the Christmas chicken. In the event that others find themselves similarly situated, allow me to tell the tale myself . . .
 
One Easter not so long ago, the Easter bunny left a special gift in a little boy’s basket — a little fuzzy yellow chick. The little boy, Joey, fell in love with the little chick. He named her “Nugget.” The more cynical among you will assume that Joey chose the name as a witty reference to the little chicken pieces that kids love to eat dipped in honey mustard sauce. But the truth is, Joey chose the name because his little chick was as precious to him as what he imagined a nugget of gold might be to someone else.
 
Nugget grew into one of the finest chickens around. She was beautiful, well-mannered and very kind. As might be expected, everyone loved Nugget.
 
There was only one small problem with Joey’s chicken and that was her appetite. It was ferocious. Nugget was always hungry and ate constantly. Her diet wasn’t restricted to chicken scratch and bugs either. She liked people food even more than standard chicken fare and she was not at all particular.
 
At first, Nugget’s willingness to eat anything made her even more popular than she otherwise would have been. You see, Joey’s mother was a terrible cook. She also became irate at the prospect of throwing food away. Joey and his father avoided her inevitable lectures by inconspicuously slipping the atrocious food to Nugget under the table and then ordering take-out after their early-to-bed mother was fast asleep.
 
But as Nugget grew, so did her appetite. The rejected table food wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy her. She literally ate everything in sight. The final straw happened on Thanksgiving Day. When the family bowed their heads and closed their eyes in prayer before partaking of the bounty before them (bounty prepared by Joey’s grandmother who was an absolutely fantastic cook), Nugget slipped in the room and polished off every last morsel. After much yelling, vicious accusations and dramatic finger-pointing, Joey’s parents agreed that the chicken would have to go. 
 
His parents gave Joey until Christmas to find a home for Nugget or they would take care of the situation themselves. The boy was absolutely devastated. He didn’t know what to do. While everyone loved Nugget, no one was willing or able to take on the job of keeping her fed.
 
Joey was so distraught that he couldn’t even think of a Christmas list. He finally realized that all he wanted for Christmas was to find a good home for Nugget. Joey convinced himself that his only hope was Santa. Joey wrote a letter to Santa. It read:
“I only have one wish this year. I hope you will make it come true. It will really give me Christmas cheer, if you would take Nugget with you.”
 
Up at the North Pole, Santa had a few problems of his own, not the least of which was Mrs. Claus. In recent years, Mrs. Claus had become a bit of a health nut and was more than a little unhappy with Santa’s current physical condition.
 
As Santa tried to explain to Mrs. Claus, it wasn’t really his fault that he gained an unbelievable amount of weight every Christmas Eve. It is customary for children to leave a little snack for Santa, typically milk and cookies. As we all know, Santa visits millions of homes on Christmas Eve so you can imagine the number of calories he consumes that night. By the time he is ready to return to the North Pole, it is a miracle he can fit in the sleigh at all. Even with the help of Weight Watchers and that mean little personal trainer elf that Mrs. Claus keeps on the payroll, Santa never quite manages to lose the extra poundage before it’s time for his next Christmas trip.
 
Santa really didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t insult the children by refusing their cookies and milk. There was no place to hide the snacks in the sleigh. He had tried in the past to pawn the food off on the reindeer but, being the serious athletes that they are, the reindeer pretty much subsist on protein shakes and power bars. They wouldn’t be caught dead eating a cookie.
 
Finally it was Christmas Eve. Santa hopped onto his sleigh with a heavy heart, trying to avoid Mrs. Claus’s withering stare. She had given him the ultimate threat. If the post-sleigh ride weigh-in was unsatisfactory, there’d be no candy canes or gingerbread for him on Christmas Day. No cookies or brownies or fruitcake either; only tofu and chicken broth. Santa sighed in dismay.
 
As luck would have it, Santa’s very first stop was Joey’s house. After sliding down the chimney with his heavy sack, Santa pulled out Joey’s cryptic letter from his pocket. Santa didn’t have the slightest idea what Joey wanted for Christmas. “What on earth is a Nugget anyway?” he wondered. He scratched his head and rummaged through his sack. Forgetting Mrs. Claus’ dire warning, Santa decided a few cookies and some milk might clear his head.
 
You can imagine Santa’s surprise when all he found was an empty glass and a few cookie crumbs. But there next to the empty glass was the cutest little chicken that Santa had even seen. He could tell by the telltale milk mustache over her beak and the cookie crumbs stuck to her feathers what had become of his snack.
 
“Ho Ho Ho! What do we have here? A chicken that eats cookies and drinks milk?” Nugget just clucked happily and stared up at Santa. Then it hit him. The most brilliant solution to his problem; the answer to Joey’s Christmas wish.
 
“Ho Ho Ho! I believe you must be Nugget,” Santa announced triumphantly to the sweet little hen. Nugget clucked in affirmation.
 
Santa left a truck and a book for Joey, and a beautiful fluffy toy chicken too. To the toy chicken, he attached a note: “Nugget is clearly a special pet with quite an appetite. She can help eat my Christmas snacks so my pants won’t get so tight. I get all kinds of treats, you know, as I make my rounds. She’ll join me in the sleigh that night and save me from extra pounds.” 
 
He gathered up little Nugget and made a comfortable spot for her beside him in the sleigh. For the rest of the night, Nugget dined happily on Christmas cookies and milk from around the world. When Santa returned home, he hadn’t gained a single ounce and Nugget was just about the happiest chicken there ever was. Mrs. Claus was overjoyed and allowed Santa to indulge in his favorite treats and everyone immediately fell in love with Nugget. Nugget took to life in the North Pole right away. After all, there is never a shortage of wonderful treats to eat in Toyland and all year Nugget looks forward to the worldwide cookie smorgasbord that awaits her on Christmas Eve.
 
When Joey awoke on Christmas Day to his presents and Santa’s note he was overjoyed. Santa had given him the best Christmas gift a boy could ever want.
 
So if you wake up on Christmas Eve night to the red glow of Rudolph’s nose outside your window and the sound of reindeer hooves and jingle bells, don’t be all that surprised if you hear some contented clucking noises too. And by all means don’t forget to leave out some delicious cookies and milk by your Christmas stocking. A little cracked corn wouldn’t be such a bad idea either.