In the game of pool there is a ‘cue’ ball that strikes the other balls and through its motion, directs the other balls where they need go. Whether we are on the look out for a new career opportunity or simply trying to survive this holiday season, how we strike others will determine how they react to us and where things go from there. In an interview I did with Nick Boothman, best-selling author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, (listen here) he shared that people notice another person’s energy before they notice anything else. Some of us can walk into a room and charm everyone there causing great reactions of joy, and then there are those of us who are the Debbie Downers of the world and cause people to scatter upon our arrival.
Part of learning to cue our fabulousness requires that we consciously direct our energy so that we strike people the way we want them to perceive us! Giving off a good vibe is actually a very important for many reasons. If we strike others as up-beat, friendly, and inclusive, people are going to want to hang out with us because we strike them positively and they feel like we will treat them well. If we strike others as down-on-our-luck or critical, then they are going to perceive us as an energy vampire sucking the good cheer right out of them and avoid us.
Directing our energy means consciously causing it to come out the way we want it to; this is how to live both creatively and proactively. When we don’t put thoughtful intention behind the energy we share with others, we run the risk of living in a reactive state with no true direction or definition because neither has been provided. When this happens our attention and energy becomes like a stray dog doing whatever it wants when it wants. We may say things we later regret, drink more than we meant to, or stay in the corner at a great party. Proactive living means deciding how we want to be perceived and matching our actions, words, and thoughts with that intention. It means focusing on the brighter side of life, saying things that build up others, and finding joy in everything we do.
So how do we cue our fabulousness? The easiest way to make this happen is by creating a mental picture of what we want and I don’t mean just any ole’ picture. I’m talking Norman Rockwell, pure perfection here. You know when you are trying to learn something new and you get to watch a demo? Well this picture is your own personal demo!
This picture must be laden with joy, peace, harmony, and whatever else we want to include. This picture must feel so real we can step right into it and experience ourselves talking to people and them reacting positively to us, our words, and our energy. I’m serious – to get the most from this technique, we really need to sit there for a few minutes just feeling fabulous. Then, when we are the most charged with this wonderful energy, we must go out and cue it up so that we strike people in the most fantastic way. Once we do this a few times, it will become natural and the way we want people to think of us will be the way they do! This, my dear friends, is how we can cue our fabulousness whenever needed and create the life we want.