NC State Missed Her October….Again

What is it about October and NC State football? Once again peak season meant nothing more than clogged gutters and a 0.25 winning percentage in the continuing gridiron horror story at Carter-Finley Stadium. You can turn back your clock on it – as sure as the leaves will turn red in October, NC State football will head south.

In 2013, new head coach Dave Doeren was forced to deal with the arrest charges of assault on a female against Shadrach “Scooter” Thornton, the Woofer’s most wanted rusher in 2012. Double D’s justice was as swift as a 250cc Vespa: a one game suspension before Scooter was back on the field in time for October ball.

That October, on their way to a winless season in the ACC, the Wolfslack’s 0.25 winning percentage was no doubt preserved only by the Open Date on the third Saturday of that month. And for Christmas that year, Santa brought Scooter deferred prosecution for the assault charge and dismissal of a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge in December. Shazam!

October 2014 was a particularly bewitching month for the Canine Crowd. A roundup at the Double D Ranch corralled twelve (yes, twelve) NC State juvies for playing ‘gangsta’ with a BB gun – in the process of planning an amphibious assault, no doubt. Again, swift justice for this posse: seven players suspended for – Gangnam style! – one game and Dean Wormer’s super secret probation for the remaining five gunslingers.

“These are good young men who made a mistake in not recognizing that this activity could have resulted in someone being injured,” Double D said in a statement. Apparently, because ‘not a single eye was put out’ in the incident, the gaggle of goodness got off light. No information was provided regarding the terms of the probation, of course. It’s super secret.

On the field, the 2014 Wuffers continued to fire blanks. Another October. Another 0.25 winning percentage for the month. Well, there’s always next year.

And ‘Gall-lee, Gomer,’ next year showed up!

NC State’s 2015 Football edition kicked off with the new season of their Wolfpack reality series “Shadrach Do What Shadrach Do.”

Demonstrating Coach Dee Dee’s ‘stronger than oak’ disciplinary style, Scooter ‘missed’ two of the Slack’s first two regular season games “for violating team rules, although university officials did not specify what led to that punishment,’” according to WRAL. Moped related, no doubt. Or drug related, perhaps, given The Scoot’s two citations – that December 2013 unfortunate and another one inMarch 2014 – for possession of marijuana. In each instance, charges were voluntarily dismissed. Shazam, again!

Not to be undone by those temporary detours, and with outstanding charges already pending against him for another moped incident, including riding without a helmet (explains some things, doesn’t it?), The Scoot’s Dickel-sicle collided with a pedestrian in a heinous hit-and-scoot incident on a Raleigh sidewalk. After beating up a girl, and going down in two separate drug busts, it took being a serial scooter offender to force the Wuff’s hand and send Thornton helmetless down the road.

Back on the field where mopeds were no longer allowed, this year’s October run started with a loss against those fun-loving Louisville (Ho, Ho, Ho) Cardinals. Getting ready for the season of giving, the Slack gave the Cards much to be thankful for, including their game plan.

According to Cardinal defensive tackle DeAngelo Brown, ‘Louisville knew exactly what was coming (during the game),’ reported ESPN. “We knew a lot where the runs were coming from based on where they were lining up,” Brown said. Lawdee! The keys are in the door, Otis. Lock up when you leave.

After securing a black eye in Blacksburg, and finding an acorn in Winston-Salem, the Slack welcomed third-ranked Clemson to Scooterville. With the Tigers offense scoring at will and the defense granting their walk-ons a solid scrimmage, the most exciting development of the game occurred when Wuffers Assistant Coach Des Kitchings went all Woody Hayes on Deshaun Watson, Clemson’s Heisman Trophy candidate. If da Wuf can’t stop them on the field, just send them out of bounds where ol’ Des K. will get the job done. It’s not enough that Double D has to apologize for the behavior of his players, now he is officially apologizing for the behavior of his coaches.

And bust my britches if Clemson Head Coach Dabo Swinney didn’t get all ‘down on the farm’ in his postgame comments, referring to the game as ‘lipstick on a pig.’ Yee Ha, Wuffers! Where’s the respect?

But another 0.25 winning percentage October would not have been complete without more off-field State shenanigans. Before the seats could get warm from the game’s 237% above capacity, sitting-on-laps, no sheet metal showing here crowd (misery do luv company), ol’ Willie Earl done got himself arrested.

Following his arrest on Hillsborough Street under the charge of DWI, starting Wuffpack right tackle William Earl Richardson, 19, of Raleigh, was “suspended indefinitely for a violation of team rules,” according to an announcement by Annabelle Myers, N.C. State Assistant AD for Communications. Guess Coach D himself must have run out of apologies for another October.