Photo of Pearl Berlin and Lennie Gerber
CHAPEL HILL – The Levin Jewish Community Center will host the first new series of community events entitled JCC Conversations Sunday.
Its topic is Love and Equality. During the event there will be a panel discussion on marriage in NC with Lennie Gerber and Pearl Berlin, Marcie and Chantelle Fisher-Borne, and Lydia Lavelle. Penny Rich, from the JCC, says that they made this event after hearing about Lennie and Pearl’s 47 years together.
“We thought about it, and we we’re like, wow,” Rich says. “At first, we were kind of joking around, but then it turned into, we should really have some sort of celebration of their life. “We hadn’t had a series yet that they quite fit into, so we actually developed a series around the social justice issue and that’s where JCC Conversations came about.”
Featured outtakes from the documentary film “Living in the Overlap” will be played during the event. Lennie and Pearl are the subjects of the documentary, which is being entered into the Full Frame festival in the spring. JCC executive director, Steve Schauder, says that the Jewish community has been progressive about the issue of equal marriage.
“Yeah, I think especially in regards to the Jewish community, every synagogue, the JCC, our Jewish federation, everyone opposed amendment one,” Schauder says. “So from our perspective we really see this as taking the lead and really mobilizing the community around a really critical human rights issue.”
The Pre-Program Reception tickets have sold out, but general admission tickets are still available for $12 and $8 for Levine JCC members. Penny Rich says that she is excited to have Lydia Lavelle on the panel, and to bring the topic of social justice to the Jewish Community Center.
“We looked at what we want to cover this year, and we did decide that social justice was something that we really wanted to bring to the JCC,” Rich says. “We have a group there now that does a lot of social justice programming, but we didn’t have one specifically that the JCC does.”
Only the first of several events, the JCC Conversations: Love and Equality will be held at their community center on Cornwallis in Durham from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.
To buy tickets or find out more information on the event click here.http://chapelboro.com/news/news-around-time/levine-jcc-hosts-social-justice-events/
I have been writing this column for well over a year. I’ve written on topics as mundane as grocery shopping and as critical as the state education budget. I’ve written about highly emotional topics such as Amendment One. Following the posting of some of these, I’ve heard from a few of you. But after my last post, on the transfer of Chapel Hill High School teacher Anne Thompson, I heard from an enormous number of people very upset by her situation.
The notes I received were not cut-and-pasted bits of a coordinated campaign either. They were heartfelt pleas for a closer look at what could have led to the decision and to ask for accountability from school leadership. Some notes were from parents and some were from within the school system and all were determined to battle an injustice.
When I wrote of Mrs. Thompson last week, only her appeal to the Chapel Hill-Carrboro City School Board had been denied. I wrote of what I saw as a perfect opportunity for compassion to be shown to a- by all accounts- fabulous teacher who wanted to teach one more year before retiring in the school that had been her home for 26 years, including during the year she recently lost her husband.
Since then, you may have heard, another teacher’s appeal was denied. Bert Wartski is also being transferred involuntarily and with the second denied appeal, I started to wonder if the school board has any history at all of granting an appeal? Anyone know? Is the process just for show? Does anyone ever convince board members that a first pass at a decision was wrong?
There are always at least two sides to every story and thus far personnel issues have been the reason little has been said from school administration and the board. I wonder if the teachers are allowed to waive confidentiality specific to the details of the transfers and as to what led to the denial of their appeals.
As I wrote last week, I don’t know these teachers, nor do I have a child in any of the schools being discussed for their futures. I write only about what I hear and what I read: a major public outcry that’s not being answered. People tend to like to know they’ve been heard in general and in this community, when it comes to education, that’s even more true. And with both teachers being moved to teach new subjects, education itself does not seem to be behind the strategy.
The teachers say they plan to appeal beyond the school board now, to the Superior Court. The teachers don’t plan to stop fighting, nor do those I heard from. As I write this it’s August 1st. The school year is now weeks, not months, away. It would certainly be swell if someone found a way to retire the rancor before the kids showed up.
Have any ideas? Leave a comment below or write to me at Donnabeth@Chapelboro.comhttp://chapelboro.com/columns/savvy-spender/teacher-transfers-not-going-away/
Orange County voted against Amendment One. But it wasn’t enough. Even though a couple of weeks have passed, the pain still lingers. I know. I have friends who effectively have been told by the State of North Carolina they may not love in the way they find natural.
Love should never be considered a privilege. We should all choose to support how our friends and neighbors struggle to find the true love we all seek. And, once they find it, we should choose again openly to honor their decision and their lifestyle.
President Obama has it right: in all aspects of our society, not just love, marriage and domestic union, but the economy, what we pay folks, how we react to undocumented immigrants, in all facets of our daily lives, we should treat people the same way we should want to be treated.
Even though I am not a practicing Christian, I find it ironic that the icon behind the religion touted as being against gay marriage is actually the one who merrily instructed the disciple Mark to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Sorry, can’t get past youth and the King James Version!
Why do I mention this? Because what I find singularly and ironically lacking from the post-vote discussion and action is love. On either side.
We will never, ever get past the polarization on this issue, and on so many other problems plaguing our community and our nation, until we are ready to accept that many, on the other side of whatever issue it may be, believe genuinely, and just as strongly, in what they are propounding.
We must listen to learn. We must honor to have civil discourse. We must engage with affection, not resentment. And we must reach out with love, even while we are being spat on. Nothing is to be gained by responding to thoughtless hatred with thoughtful hatred.http://chapelboro.com/columns/the-commentators/amendment-one-all-you-need-is-love/
Many proponents of Amendment One on Tuesday’s ballot see it as a way to support traditional marriage. I’m wondering why all their efforts are focusing on how to prevent certain marriages (same sex, which are already against the law, btw), how to invalidate other stable, long-term relationships (non-married heterosexual couples), and how to undermine the structure and support of children of any of the couples listed above.
Prevent, invalidate, undermine. These are all words designed to exclude or weaken. Why not find ways to support marriage in a positive way? Why not make divorce illegal? If that seems a bit extreme, how about the legislature using some of the money taken from schools this year (and that being used to pay to put this amendment on the ballot) to pay for marriage counseling sessions? Or pay for more job counseling and transitional housing for domestic violence victims?
Let’s be a state that builds instead of destroys. Let’s vote Tuesday to not write discrimination and narrow definitions into our constitution. Let’s not concern ourselves with the private lives of our fellow citizens; instead let’s look to all North Carolinians to contribute to a healthy economy where children get a great education, where a history of discrimination is one we’ve learned from.
As Americans, we all know what it’s like to be hated by some for who we are. Why would we turn that inward on our fellow countrymen? The savviest way to spend your vote this Tuesday is to vote no on Amendment One.http://chapelboro.com/columns/savvy-spender/lets-save-marriage/
I promise this is still a column about music, even though it may not appear that way at first. I don’t consider myself to be an authority on much of anything else, and most days, not even on music, but I love it so I write about it. These days, however, something else has been weighing heavily on my mind, so this is a good avenue for expressing my thoughts on it. Amendment One is staring us all in the face. A lot of folks, including me, have taken advantage of early voting, and, of course, it’s time for the actual Primary Day. Some people like to wait until that actual day to get to the polls, and that’s cool. Sadly, though, some don’t vote at all, and that really disturbs me. Especially this time, with the Proposal for Amendment One on the ballot.
Why certain legislators have chosen to lead this effort to insert discrimination into the Constitution is beyond me. On the surface of it, it simply says that “Marriage in North Carolina shall only be recognized only if it’s between one man and one woman.” Well, guess what? That’s already on the books in North Carolina. So all those people who have distaste, distrust, and disgust with anyone who happens to be gay want to put this so-called amendment into law, to try and take away the possibility that same-sex marriages might someday be declared okay here in North Carolina. Some people are so worried about this that they’re willing to put some special language (extremely poorly written as it is) into the law, because they’re so afraid that the institution of marriage is going to crumble, My marriage isn’t threatened by the possibility of same-sex couples declaring their love for one another. Is yours? I really don’t care who you choose to love…that’s up to you. And I’m not interested in writing into law some hateful and hurtful language to make sure homosexual couples can’t join the land of the married. People are people. Why do we have to hate each other?
My concern is that thousands of registered voters will go the polls, not really understanding what implications Amendment One would have. It’s not as simple as whether you approve of same-sex couples. It’s far more complicated. As I understand it, this proposal would also affect heterosexual couples, who live together, without being married. Same-sex marriages are not legal anywhere in North Carolina as it is, but some communities such as ours recognize “domestic partnerships.” And with that designation come certain advantages, such as the opportunity to have insurance coverage together, to care for children together, etc. Supporters of Amendment One want to get rid of that, too. Some people say they’re supporting Amendment One on religious grounds. Is it really the Christian thing to do to take away insurance benefits, which will hurt children all over the state? Many religious leaders have come out in opposition to Amendment One. How do you explain that?
Victims of domestic violence will no longer have the same rights they have now. Amendment One would also affect some senior citizens. There are other implications, too, and I hope everybody will do research on this and find out all there is to know about it, and not just go blindly into the polling place and vote “Yes.” Sadly, that’s what many citizens of our state will do. Some supporters of Amendment One are claiming that passage wouldn’t have anything to do with any of this—that it’s simply declaring that marriage can only be between one man and one woman—but again, that’s already the law in North Carolina…which makes all of this so totally unnecessary. Is this really what the people of North Carolina want? If Amendment One passes, a lot of things would change, but you know what would change if it fails? Nothing.
There are even economic reasons for voting against Amendment One. Why would we want to portray North Carolina’s image to the world as a state that would write discrimination into law? …Discrimination against its own people! IN these difficult economic times, we’re trying to recruit businesses to come to our community and open up business here in North Carolina. How likely would the passing of Amendment One be to influence the decisions of business executives who want to come here and set up shop? And how many businesses that are already here would consider packing up and moving to another state? Here in the Chapel Hill-Carrboro community, we want to be known as an inclusive community, here for the benefit of everyone. We say we welcome everyone, regardless of their marital status or sexual orientation. Amendment One would accomplish just the opposite of that! Is that really the way we want to be seen? As a state that offers great opportunities but only to certain people? Come on.
Actually, I’m not too worried about the voters of Chapel Hill, Carrboro, and Orange County. I STILL haven’t seen my first “Vote FOR the Amendment” yard sign here in our community. And if you see one here, it’s definitely in the minority. What really worries me, though, is when I see so many of those signs in other communities. I’ve seen a lot of them in Raleigh, and my initial thought when I see one is “Really? Do you even know what it means? What it would do?” I’m convinced that a lot of people who say they’re FOR it, don’t really understand it. And surveys have shown that people are much less likely to be FOR it once it’s explained to them exactly what it is and what it would do. At the time of this writing, however, the majority of people who’ve been polled on this, claim to be FOR it. It’s not our local community that worries me–it’s the rest of North Carolina that worries me.
Yeah…I’ve still got lots of music in my head. And I will definitely get back to writing about those songs in my next column. But I hope you don’t mind my getting this off my chest. I just HAD to speak out. And if writing this results in just one person who is now FOR it deciding to vote AGAINST it, it will have been worth it. So thanks for indulging me for a few minutes. One last thing: Don’t forget to vote. It’s extremely important.http://chapelboro.com/columns/the-music-in-my-head/people-are-people/
When it comes to public life, there is a concept I learned from great North Carolinians such as the late Terry Sanford and former Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Dickson Phillips, as well as from my parents: being right when it matters. Because members of the General Assembly failed the test of being right when it matters all North Carolina citizens are now forced to decide whether they are for or AGAINST what is known as Amendment One and whether they will take the time to cast their vote.
What each of us does right now on Amendment One matters. I am voting against Amendment One because I know so many wonderful families headed by same-sex parents, because I know its passage will hurt North Carolina’s business climate, because I know the autonomy of religious institutions to define marriage as they see fit (a right I strongly support) is not at issue.
There are more reasons, many more, I could give for being AGAINST Amendment One. But I think its more helpful for me to give the link to a website with great information about the campaign AGAINST Amendment One. In addition, I’ve given three leading voices in the campaign AGAINST Amendment One the opportunity to making a “closing argument” as to why the referendum should be defeated. Please listen, share with others and, above all, please vote AGAINST Amendment One.
I spent part of last evening in a room overflowing with good will. It was in a Chapel Hill home and the wine was flowing, the food and conversation excellent but what made it truly grand for me was the aforementioned good will.
Why is the conviviality so notable? One would think amid the wine and the conversation, of course it would be pleasant. It’s notable because the evening was about politics and lately, in this country, a lot of politics is venomous.
The home of John Sweet and Greg Fitch was teeming with people united in their desire to defeat the May 8 ballot question of whether the North Carolina constitution should “provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State”.
I don’t think the attendees’ shared opinion of Amendment One is the only explanation for the cheerful ambiance; I credit the underlying message: Those opposed to the amendment are not trying to take away anyone’s rights, nor fault how anyone lives. It is much easier to be affable when not being judgmental.
Same sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina. Even if you agree with that, I questioned in a previous column why anyone would also need a constitutional amendment or to spend public money getting it on a ballot. But the May 8th vote is about much more than same sex marriage.
It is also about business and therefore jobs (which of course makes this topic eligible for a column on spending!). Top talent doesn’t exist in any one population. Is North Carolina willing to be less than welcoming to businesses that want to bring or attract the best and brightest no matter their orientation? Will extraordinary employees flee if they can no longer receive benefits for their partners nor their children? What about the children of those who stay? Do they deserve the same rights and care as the children of their mom or dad’s colleagues?
The text of the ballot question also tosses out the rights of unmarried straight couples: “….marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid…” [italics are mine]. Do we really want our constitution to decide if our adult, consensual relationships are legal?
A recent Associated Press story told of how North Carolina stands alone in the South, surrounded by states that have already changed their constitutions to codify a ban on same sex marriage. The reporter points out the civil rights arguments being used now by Amendment One opponents hark back to a time when much of the violence bypassed North Carolina. Last night former UNC Chancellor James Moeser urged us to once again differentiate our state from South Carolina and to vote no on May 8th.
Let us all find ourselves soon in a convivial gathering across our state, coming together on Election Day to decide that North Carolina should once again stand alone in the region in its tolerance and care for all human beings.
Please feel free to comment below or to write to me at Donnabeth@Chapelboro.com. As I wrote the last time I tackled this subject: It’s an emotionally charged issue so I ask that all notes and comments be courteous. Disagree and I’m happy to read it but any vitriol will be disregarded.http://chapelboro.com/columns/savvy-spender/defeating-discrimination/