There’s no kerfuffle at Carolina, at least about shoes.

Todd Starnes is sort of a cross between Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump. Far right, sometimes funny and more obnoxious. Not sure where his last piece came from on FoxNews.com, but in his first line he identifies all this at University of North Carolina. The article is a spoof and might be humorous – for a school that hasn’t been through what we have the last five years. Some nitwits out there will actually believe it.

Todd Starnes

Todd Starnes

It says there is a rabid case of micro-aggression going on in Chapel Hill, from complimenting women on their shoes to inviting someone out to play golf. The nice-shoes line means you are a sexist who thinks there is not much above the woman’s feet, or at least in her head. And the golf gala proves that UNC is an elitist place where everyone can afford to play an elite sport.

Don’t try to figure out what gender a transgender is, warns Starnes, who got his, ahem, education at Georgia State. Funny, I thought it was surely that other State, although their grads don’t usually make it into the media. Starnes, who has an abbreviated version on video at FoxNews.com, also says celebrating Christmas or taking a Christmas vacation are considered to be no-no’s at North Carolina, explaining that the university guidelines indicate that to deck the halls “further centers the Christian faith and minimizes non-Christian spiritual rituals and observances.”

Starnes continues to lie, of course, when he says UNC posted a message on its website that these guidelines do not represent university policy. Maybe we should post that Starnes is a moron.

He crosses the last line with me for his dream about “running into a gender-neutral Muslim” down at the UNC driving range. Starnes writes, “Once he found out I was a gun-toting, Bible-clinging, sweet-tea-drinking, Son of the South — he came down with one of those micro-aggressions. It was a fierce attack – something awful.

“Faster than you could say ‘Jesus is the Reason for the Season’ — he dropped his Big Bertha and high-tailed it to his designated safe space.”

Funny, I think not. Maybe if he said SOUTH Carolina in the opening line.