Colbert Report Makes Mockery Of NC GA
NEW YORK – Your state’s national attention continues to grow as Comedy Central’s famed pseudo-pundit Stephen Colbert, took time on his Monday night broadcast to talk about the state’s General Assembly, ‘praising’ bills passed like one that removes the requirement that charter school teachers have a college degree.
“Great move,” Colbert says. “Who better to teach fifth grade than a sixth grader? It’s still fresh in his mind!”
And Colbert, a native of South Carolina, made sure to point out his long history of not caring for our home state.
“Who makes barbecue sauce with vinegar?” Colbert says. “That’s what you use to clean a toilet, and when I say toilet, I mean Charlotte.”
Colbert also gave special attention to a bill that would make it a felony to expose one’s nipple for the purposes of arousal.
“So, North Carolina strippers: be sure to wear a sign on your chest that reads, ‘For Educational Purposes Only,’” he says.
However, all of these bills are not what won Colbert’s full support.
“All those bills were just foreplay, which I believe is also illegal in North Carolina,” Colbert says.
What earned the General Assembly Colbert’s “tip of the hat” is the recently passed bill allowing those with concealed firearms to bring their weapons into bars and onto playgrounds.
“Guns will make the whole playground experience much more fun,” Colbert says. “Instead of ‘duck, duck, goose,’ you can just play ‘duck, duck, duck!’”
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