As you may know, I work on the Fitness Team at the Duke Center for Living at Fearrington. There are eight Exercise Physiologists on our team, and we all share a binder that contains each person’s daily schedule. We call this binder the “Day-by-Day,” abbreviated as “DBD.” The DBD shows what each team member is doing during each half-hour time slot of the day.

Earlier, I was busy painting some major white-out into my column of the DBD due to a schedule change coming up next month. It struck me as I was making broad strokes with the brush that the DBD is a lot like life. Let me explain:

The DBD is printed on the 15th of each month. When the new schedule is placed into the binder it is crisp and clean. Each physiologist’s schedule is blocked off with thick black borders. Group exercise classes are typed distinctively in blue ink, floor coverage in red ink, and lunch hours in black ink. There are plenty of open cells for each physiologist to schedule administrative time, clients, important meetings, and other appointments.

As soon as the DBD is printed, each physiologist begins penciling in such responsibilities. A few of us trade classes each month, and floor coverage begins to get shifted around in order to accommodate our fluctuating schedules. The pristine printed papers begin to get a little messy.

As we get closer to the present day, the DBD gets downright sloppy. Last minute administrative time is penciled in for unexpected events. Clients call in and cancel or reschedule appointments. Time must be cut in order to avoid overtime. By the time the present day is upon us, the DBD looks like a kindergartener was let loose on it; white-out abounds, writing outside of the lines, and scribble marks all over. Yet, despite the untidiness, the system works exceptionally well.  Rarely do any major mishaps occur within our scheduling system.

How does this relate to life?

Each of us idealizes the future. We picture everything working out just right. We imagine ourselves living up to all of our aspirations, with everything piecing together congruently. This is the pristine paper that is placed into the binder on the 15th.

As soon as we realistically contemplate the future, though, uncertainty arises. We begin to feel as though we need to try and control certain situations, events, or people to ensure that our idealistic plans manifest. We brainstorm how we will navigate the days ahead. This is when we begin to pencil in on the pristine white paper. Things are still pretty neat, but the seeds of chaos have been planted.

As time draws closer to the present, things usually begin to unwind to some extent. Social plans change due to busy schedules, events may be threatened due to weather forecasts, and unexpected news can hit at any time. This is about one week ahead of the present day, when more things begin to be shifted around to accommodate various unexpected occurrences.

Finally, the present day arrives. We never know what life will throw at us, and there are usually a few twists and turns we do not anticipate each day. Most often these are minor, but sometimes they are major – like the white-out job I was talking about earlier. Sometimes, relationships seem to crumble out of nowhere. Sometimes, we get a phone call with life-changing news. Sometimes, life throws us a lucky break, and sometimes, it seems to be out to break us in half.

No matter how you conceptualize the future, it will be unlikely to unfold exactly as you believe it should. Despite sometimes looking like a train-wreck, the DBD almost never fails us as a team. Likewise, the universe tends to unfold as it should, despite our preconceived notions. Problems are usually not as bad as they seem in the moment. Wounds heal. We learn from our chaotic experiences.

So what is my point?

This comparison reminds me to avoid attempting to control the future so much. Life should be lived in the moment as much as possible. This is scary to contemplate, because we are usually trying to grasp something tangible and absolute, when no such thing exists. Embrace the chaos that is your daily life. Do things that scare the hell out of you. Take direct action and do not be afraid to make mistakes. You will fail, and it will be painful, but often our painful experiences lead to our greatest triumphs. Even if your day seems like a mess right now, believe that it will work out just as smoothly as our trusty Day-by-Day.